Search results for: ""Siyum""

Siyum
A siyum can be held anytime a book of Torah or Talmud or any other holy book (sefer kodesh) has been studied for a long time; three months or longer is a good guideline. Simply reading through a book does not qualify; you must study it and understand it.
Note Originally, the intent was for a volume (masechta) of Talmud or a division (seder) of the Mishna.
Women: Studying Talmud
Women are not prohibited from learning Talmud, but men should not teach them.
NOTE Since women are not required to study Talmud, they do not make a siyum if they complete studying any part.
 
Burial: Kaddish: Version of Kaddish

Kaddish is recited near the grave but at least 4 amot (7 feet) away from the nearest grave:  

  • If the son of the dead person is present and the burial occurred on a day when tachanun is normally said, the version of kaddish recited is the same as for a siyum (celebration of completing studying part of mishnayot or other holy books).
  • If there is no son of the dead person present or if it is not a day when tachanun is said, then the version of kaddish recited is the normal mourner's kaddish.
Nine Days: Restrictions
Restrictions during the Nine Days before Tish'a b'Av are the same as for Three Weeks, plus:
  • You may not eat meat or drink wine.
    Exceptions
    1. You may drink wine on Shabbat (but not on Rosh Chodesh Av or erev Shabbat.)
    2. You may drink wine for havdala (but ideally give the wine or grape juice to a child between ages 6 and 10).  
    3. You may eat meat or drink wine at a brit, siyum, or pidyon ha'ben.
  • You may not wear freshly laundered clothes, or wear or buy new clothes.
  NOTE You may wear clean socks and underwear. Ideally, throw them on the floor
  first but, b'di'avad, it is OK to wear them even if you did not.
  • You may not wash yourself for pleasure.
    Note Showering or bathing to clean one's soiled body is permitted (except on Tish'a b'Av).  So you may bathe or shower during the Nine Days if you are dirty, sweaty, or smelly.
  • You may not do any activities that involve luxury.
  • You may not say she'hecheyanu except on Shabbat.
    Note Therefore you should not buy new fruits or new items that you will enjoy during the Nine Days.  But if you DO eat a new fruit or buy something new, you must say she'hecheyanu anyway.
Public Festivities for Mourner for Parent

A mourner may not generally enter a hall of joyous celebration and may not eat at any public meal. During the year of mourning for parents, you may not join any public festivities (even if it is not a simcha) that have a meal, including any meals celebrating a mitzva (se'udat mitzva) such as for a brit mila, wedding, or redemption of a son (pidyon ha'ben). After 30 days, you may attend a bar mitzva or a siyum meal, since a bar mitzva is similar to a siyum since the child's parent's commandment to educate his/her child in Jewish education has been completed.
ExceptionA mourner whose child is getting married, does attend the wedding and does eat at the meal with everyone else, even if mourning for a parent. He or she does not need to leave the room when music is being played. To attend the wedding of anyone other than one's child, regardless of who died, a mourner must eat alone and outside the main dining area.

Note An intervening Jewish festival partially truncates the 30 days of mourning and so you may attend a bar mitzva or siyum even before the end of 30 days.
NoteIf you work at weddings (caterer, musician, etc.), you may attend weddings even before 30 days are up, but you may not join the meal.
Introduction to Mourning

Who Is a Mourner

A mourner is defined in halacha as someone mourning during the 12-month mourning period for parents or the 30-day mourning period for the other five relatives (spouse, brother, sister, son, daughter). After 30 days, one is no longer a mourner for anyone but one's parents.

Mourners' Restrictions

If the mourner goes about business as usual, it may show he or she doesn't care about the close relative who died. The mourner should ideally not want to do these things. The mourner honors the dead person by refraining from pampering him/herself and refraining from going about his or her life as usual.

Public Meals

A mourner may not attend a public meal for any purpose. For example, if the mourner attends a lecture or Torah class at which food is being served, he or she may not eat the food. This only applies to sit-down meals; snacking is permitted.

Siyum/Brit/Bar Mitzva

After 30 days after a parent's burial, a mourner may:

  • Attend a siyum or bar mitzva and eat there.
  • Attend a brit but not eat there.
Note If there is music (live or recorded), the mourner must leave.

Weddings

A mourner may not eat at a wedding and may not even be in the wedding hall after the ceremony took. The mourner may also not hear the music at a wedding.

Exceptions
  • If the mourner is the parent of someone getting married, the mourner can fully participate in the wedding.
  • If the mourner is the bride or groom, he or she must normally wait to get married until after shloshim/30 days.
Note If it is after shiva, but still during shloshim, consult a rabbi.

Kiddush and Shabbat or Festival Meals

A mourner may not publicly (noticeably) mourn on Shabbat or festivals so he or she may attend Shabbat or festival meals and kiddushes if he or she would be expected to attend. If the mourner always or routinely invites some person or a lot of different people on Shabbat or festivals, it is still permitted. If the mourner does not routinely invite some person or a lot of different people to a Shabbat or festival meal, then he or she may not, for his or her own enjoyment, invite guests for meals. However, the mourner is permitted to do so for other purposes (for the benefit of the invited person or people), such as kiruv or hachnasat orchim. There is no limit to how many guests the mourner may host.

The mourner may attend or host a sheva brachot in his/her home.

A mourner should not be invited to meals, even for Shabbat or festivals; but if he/she was invited, he/she may go.

Holidays

A mourner does eat at a Purim or Jewish festival seuda, since there is no mourning on Purim nor on any festival (except Chanuka).

Introduction to Fast Days
Introduction to Fast Days
The purpose of Jewish fast days is to make us reflect on our behavior and improve it by:
  • Eliminating negative actions and thoughts, and
  • Taking more care in our observance of the commandments.
God told the Jewish people on many occasions that He did not want their pointless sacrifices or fast days but rather wanted the Jews to improve their behavior. If people fast but still have reprehensible behavior, the people have missed the point and purpose of bringing sacrifices and having fast days.
All fast days may be circumvented for health reasons. Consult a rabbi.

Fast days come in several varieties:
  • Major fast days: Yom Kippur and the Ninth of Av (Tish'a B'Av). 
  • Minor fast days: There are four minor fast days; see below.
  • Fast for First-Born
  • Individual Fasts

The Major Fasts
Yom Kippur and the Ninth of Av begin before sunset and are both slightly longer than 24 hours. Yom Kippur is a festive day while, on the Ninth of Av, Jews mourn for the destruction of both Jerusalem Temples (the first was destroyed by Babylonians; the second, by the Romans). On both fasts, it is forbidden to:
  • Eat or drink.
  • Wear leather shoes (but you may wear any other clothing made of leather).
  • Bathe (or even to wash anything more than fingers; you may not use a deodorant--not even a spray type--since it is similar to washing).
  • Have marital relations.
  • Use cosmetics or body scents.

The Minor Fasts
The four minor fasts begin 72 minutes before local sunrise. They technically end at dark but functionally end after ma'ariv (and for the Fast of Esther, after hearing the megila). Unlike most times in the Jewish calendar, this 72 minutes is normal time and NOT based on the current length of the day (sha'a zmanit):
  • Fast of Esther (Ta'anit Esther): Day preceding Purim (or sometimes earlier).
  • Fast of Gedalia (Tzom Gedalia): Usually the day after Rosh Hashana.
  • Tenth of Tevet (Asara b' Tevet):
  • Seventeenth of Tamuz (Shiv'asar b'Tamuz): Beginning of the Three Weeks of semi-mourning beforeTish'a b'Av.
On all fast days, eating and drinking are forbidden. The Tenth of Tevet and the Seventeenth of Tamuz additionally have the same restrictions as the Nine Days. So you may wash or bathe on the Fast of Esther and on Tzom Gedalia but not on the Tenth of Tevet and the Seventeenth of Tamuz. (See Nine Days: Restrictions).
Note On a fast day that has been delayed for Shabbat, there may be leniencies for:
  • The mohel, sandak, and father of a baby getting a brit mila to eat after mincha.
  • Pregnant or nursing women (this leniency applies to eating throughout the day).
Fast for First Born
Fast for first-born males 13 years old and older, on the day before Passover. This includes first-born cohanim and Levites (levi'im). The fast begins 72 normal minutes before sunrise and ends with kiddush at the seder. However, the widespread custom is to attend a siyum on the day before the first seder so that the first-born men do not need to fast on that day.
 
Personal Fasts
Fast by a groom and bride on their wedding day is an example of personal fasts. This fast begins 72 normal minutes before sunrise and ends with drinking wine under the chuppa.