For wearing new clothes during the year of mourning for a parent, see Clothing during Shloshim .

An avel may not wash, shave, or get a haircut during shiv'a (for more details on haircuts, see Haircuts during Shloshim).

An onen who accompanies a body to a foreign country for burial may have two extra days (or more) of onenut. If the onen then returns home and joins other mourners in the shiv'a house, the onen may end shiv'a with the other family members. (For more details, see When Shiv'a (and Shloshim) Starts: Normal Days .)

Who Is a Mourner

A mourner is defined in halacha as someone mourning during the 12-month mourning period for parents or the 30-day mourning period for the other five relatives (spouse, brother, sister, son, daughter). After 30 days, one is no longer a mourner for anyone but one's parents.

Mourners' Restrictions

If the mourner goes about business as usual, it may show he or she doesn't care about the close relative who died. The mourner should ideally not want to do these things. The mourner honors the dead person by refraining from pampering him/herself and refraining from going about his or her life as usual.

Public Meals

A mourner may not attend a public meal for any purpose. For example, if the mourner attends a lecture or Torah class at which food is being served, he or she may not eat the food. This only applies to sit-down meals; snacking is permitted.

Siyum/Brit/Bar Mitzva

After 30 days after a parent's burial, a mourner may:

• Attend a siyum or bar mitzva and eat there.
• Attend a brit but not eat there.

Note If there is music (live or recorded), the mourner must leave.

Weddings

A mourner may not eat at a wedding and may not even be in the wedding hall after the ceremony took. The mourner may also not hear the music at a wedding.

Exceptions

• If the mourner is the parent of someone getting married, the mourner can fully participate in the wedding.
• If the mourner is the bride or groom, he or she must normally wait to get married until after shloshim/30 days.

Note If it is after shiva, but still during shloshim, consult a rabbi.

Kiddush and Shabbat or Festival Meals

A mourner may not publicly (noticeably) mourn on Shabbat or festivals so he or she may attend Shabbat or festival meals and kiddushes if he or she would be expected to attend. If the mourner always or routinely invites some person or a lot of different people on Shabbat or festivals, it is still permitted. If the mourner does not routinely invite some person or a lot of different people to a Shabbat or festival meal, then he or she may not, for his or her own enjoyment, invite guests for meals. However, the mourner is permitted to do so for other purposes (for the benefit of the invited person or people), such as kiruv or hachnasat orchim. There is no limit to how many guests the mourner may host.

The mourner may attend or host a sheva brachot in his/her home.

A mourner should not be invited to meals, even for Shabbat or festivals; but if he/she was invited, he/she may go.

Holidays

A mourner does eat at a Purim or Jewish festival seuda, since there is no mourning on Purim nor on any festival (except Chanuka).

If you will not have time to start se'uda shlishit after mincha but before sunset, you may eat se'uda shlishit before mincha.

If you recite birkat ha'mazon after se'uda shlishit over a cup of wine, you may only drink the wine if the meal ended before sunset.  

Women, as well as men, are required to eat se'uda shlishit.

If you are eating a snack without bread, you must finish eating and say the after-blessing by at least 2 minutes before dark.
If you washed and ate bread, you may continue your meal even after dark.

The ideal is to wash hands and say ha'motzi for se'uda shlishit before sunset. However, you may still say ha'motzi for se'uda shlishit until 2 minutes before dark (tzeit ha'kochavim) if you have not yet eaten your se'uda shlishit. Once you have begun your meal before sunset, you may continue until long after dark.

 

Ideally, fulfill the commandment of a third meal (se'uda shlishit) by:

• Washing hands,
• Saying the ha'motzi blessing over two challot, and
• Eating at least the minimum amount (1.9 fl. oz., or 56 ml) of bread.  

You may, however, fulfill the requirements of se'uda shlishit by eating any solid food which gives nourishment—as long as you can say the after-blessing and have eaten at least 1.9 fl. oz. (56 ml) of that food.

Spicy/charif food may become nullfiable (batel ba'shishim), but consult a rabbi about the exceptions and details.

You should not eat or drink from sunset (or from the time you finish se'uda shlishit) until after havdala, but drinking water during that time period is not forbidden by halacha.
 

You may use and eat Worcestershire sauce on meat if the fish component is batel ba'shishim (nullified by being less than 1/60^th of the total volume).

Categories of Batel/Nullification
Categories of nullification of non-kosher ingredients:

• Never batel.
• Batel b'shishim when the non-kosher substance is less than 1/60th of the total volume of the food.
• Batel barov when the non-kosher substance is less than 1/2 of the total volume of the food.

When Can a Non-Kosher Substance Be Nullified in a Mixture?
Whether a non-kosher substance can be nullified in a mixture depends on 3 factors:

• Whether the owner is Jewish;
• Whether the intended eaters are Jewish; and
• Whether the non-kosher substance was added intentionally as non-kosher.

If the answers to all three cases is yes, the food is never batel.

Food “Nullified in 60 Parts”:
Accidentally Adding Non-Kosher to Kosher Food 

• Less than 1/60 of the volume of the whole.
• Mixed in and not lying on the surface.
• Not intentionally added by a Jew.
• Not listed in “Foods that Never Become Nullified” (below).

Min b'Mino
Substances are only batel when they are similar (“min b'mino”). The substances must be the same type, have the same taste, and have the same appearance (the eater cannot identify them as being different).
Note In such situations, it would be batel barov from Torah (d'oraita) but batel b'shishim (1/60^th) by rabbinical order (d'rabanan).
Example A piece of non-kosher meat is mixed in with kosher meat of more than 60 times the volume of the non-kosher piece. The non-kosher meat is batel b'shishim.
Note As a practical matter, this can only apply to ground meat.
Counter Example Non-kosher chocolate syrup or a non-kosher flavored extract mixed into milk or other liquid or onto a solid would NOT be min b'mino even though both are liquids, since their appearances, flavors, and substance are different.

Too Thin To Make Non-Kosher

• Yayin Nesech
  Wine that has been offered to a pagan god or used for idolatrous purposes (yayin nesech) is forbidden in any amount!
• Mixtures of Milk and Meat
  Mixtures of milk and meat are not ever batel if they were cooked together.
  ExceptionBatel in 1/60^th if:
  • You cannot identify either substance AND
  • The mixture is liquid in liquid or solid mixed with solid.

Examples: Milk from a pig mixed with milk from a cow; ground kosher meat mixed in with ground non-kosher meat.

• Chametz

• Jew Intentionally Adding Non-Kosher Item

• Unflavored or Flavored Non-Kosher Ingredient
  
  Non-Jew Adds Unflavored Non-Kosher Ingredient
  

  Situation A non-Jew adds a non-kosher ingredient that has no flavor. 
  Status The non-kosher ingredient is nullified if less than 1/2 of the total (it does not need to be less than 1/60th--batel ba'shishim).

  
  Non-Jew Adds Flavored Non-Kosher Ingredient

  Situation A non-Jew adds a flavored non-kosher ingredient even if to impart flavor.
  Status The non-kosher ingredient is nullified in 60 parts (batel ba'shishim).
  

  Note If a Jew had told the non-Jew to add the ingredient, the mixture is non-kosher, just as if a Jew had added it. 
• Stam Yeinam Added to Water
  Situation A non-Jew adds—to water--stam yeinam (uncooked/non-mevushal) wine that has been handled while open by anyone other than a shomer-Shabbat Jew.  
  Status As long as the wine is less than 1/7th of the final volume, the mixture is kosher. 

  Note For mixtures with liquids other than water, consult a rabbi. 

• Essential Additives

• Food Bought by the Piece

• Important Food

• Permissible in Future (Davar SheYesh Lo Matirin)

• An egg laid on Shabbat will not be nullified by being mixed with eggs laid before Shabbat.
• Matza made of chadash flour will not be nullified by being mixed with matza made from yashan flour.

• Whole Insects

• Frozen or raw chopped or ground vegetables or spices may be considered kosher even without supervision.
  Reason We assume that any bugs in the food would have gotten partly chopped or disintegrated and therefore nullified.
• If a recipe calls for chopping or grinding herbs or vegetables, you may do so without first checking them for bugs.
  Note However, if you know there are bugs, you may not chop the food for the purpose of making the bugs nullified:  You must still check for insects before cooking or eating the food and if you see any bugs, you must remove them.