NOTEDon't tell other people that a rainbow is visible. But if they see you looking or hear you saying the blessing, you may tell them that there is a rainbow and you may tell them the correct blessing to say.
- P'ru u'rvu (to have children);
- Brit mila;
- Gid ha'nasheh (not eating the sciatic nerve of animals).
A mourner may not generally enter a hall of joyous celebration and may not eat at any public meal. During the year of mourning for parents, you may not join any public festivities (even if it is not a simcha) that have a meal, including any meals celebrating a mitzva (se'udat mitzva) such as for a brit mila, wedding, or redemption of a son (pidyon ha'ben). After 30 days, you may attend a bar mitzva or a siyum meal, since a bar mitzva is similar to a siyum since the child's parent's commandment to educate his/her child in Jewish education has been completed.
ExceptionA mourner whose child is getting married, does attend the wedding and does eat at the meal with everyone else, even if mourning for a parent. He or she does not need to leave the room when music is being played. To attend the wedding of anyone other than one's child, regardless of who died, a mourner must eat alone and outside the main dining area.
NoteIf you work at weddings (caterer, musician, etc.), you may attend weddings even before 30 days are up, but you may not join the meal.
-
You may not eat meat or drink wine.
Exceptions
- You may drink wine on Shabbat (but not on Rosh Chodesh Av or erev Shabbat.)
- You may drink wine for havdala (but ideally give the wine or grape juice to a child between ages 6 and 10).
- You may eat meat or drink wine at a brit, siyum, or pidyon ha'ben.
- You may not wear freshly laundered clothes, or wear or buy new clothes.
-
You may not wash yourself for pleasure.
Note Showering or bathing to clean one's soiled body is permitted (except on Tish'a b'Av). So you may bathe or shower during the Nine Days if you are dirty, sweaty, or smelly.
- You may not do any activities that involve luxury.
-
You may not say she'hecheyanu except on Shabbat.
Note Therefore you should not buy new fruits or new items that you will enjoy during the Nine Days. But if you DO eat a new fruit or buy something new, you must say she'hecheyanu anyway.
-
Wake
Wake and wash hands (Three-Times Method). -
Bathroom
Take care of any toilet needs, wash your hands (One-Time Method).
Say blessings al netilat yadayim and asher yatzar (until l'fgarim meitim). - Torah Blessings
kulam).
-
Talit Katan
Put on talit katan (for men).
Say blessing if not married or if not putting on talit gadol later.Note You may put on the talit katan before washing your hands
- Birchot HaShachar
synagogue.
- Talit/Tefilin
- Talit (for married men or other men with that custom).
- Tefilin (for men).
- L'olam Yihei Adam/Korbanot
- L'olam yihei adam,
- Short shema,
- Paragraph ending mekadeish et shimcha ba'rabim,
- Readings on sacrifices/korbanot,
- 13 rules.
- Psukei D'Zimra
- Psalm 30/Mizmor Shir Chanukat habayit.
- Baruch she'amar through yishtabach (includes ashrei).
- Bar'chu/Shema/Amida
one after), tachanun (when appropriate) and ashrei through to alenu.
- Psalms/Alenu
- Neitz, HaNeitz—Sunrise
- Alot HaShachar—72 minutes before sunrise
- MiSheyakir-- 36 minutes before sunrise in New York in winter and 40 minutes in summer. Nearer to the equator, the maximum time is shorter.
When Things Happen
Before Alot HaShachar (72 minutes before sunrise)
You can put on tzitzit/talit and tefilin without blessings.
Alot HaShachar
You can say:
- Birchot ha'shachar.
- Shema and amida, b'di'avad.
You can say:
- Blessings over tefilin and tzitzit/talit.
- Shema and amida as necessary.
You can say shema l'chatchila--and begin saying the amida exactly at sunrise.
By Third Halachic Hour of the Day
You have until the third halachic hour of the day to say:
- The blessing mekadeish et shimcha ba'rabim if you want to include the word Adonai.
- Morning shema.
You have until the fourth halachic hour of the day to say any of the prayers from barchu until the end of the amida.
Halachic Mid-Day
You have until halachic mid-day, b'di'avad, to say the shacharit amida.
- Making them beautiful (hidur mitzva), or
- Observing non-required stringencies (mehadrin).
- Women baking challa for Shabbat and Jewish festivals (and separating challa as a remembrance of the challa that was given to the priests/cohanim in the Temple).
- Wearing especially nice clothes and eating special foods on Shabbat and Jewish festivals.
- Using beautiful fragrances, tastes, textures, colors, and artistry in serving God.
- Shabbat/Jewish festival table (set with beautiful challa cover, silver, kiddush cups).
- Havdala set and pleasant-smelling spices for havdala.
- Sukka and putting your finest things in it.
- Etrog/etrog case.
- Shofar.
- Seder plate, matza holder, and matza cover.
- Illuminated hagadas (hagadot) and megilas (megilot).
- Chanuka candle-holder (menora, chanukiya).
- Torah scroll written with a fine pen and beautiful script and wrapped in beautiful silks.
- Mezuza covers.
- Ketuba.
- Wimple (to wrap baby in prior to brit mila; then donated to hold the two parts of the Torah together).
- Elijah's Chair/Kisei Eliyahu.
- Synagogues.
- Chuppa.
- Chalav Yisrael--When consuming milk and milk products, eating or drinking only those items whose production was supervised by religious Jews;
- Pat Yisrael—When eating bread, only eating bread baked by Jews (not necessarily by religious Jews);
- Glatt meat—When eating meat, eating only meat that had no lesions on the animal's lungs;
- Lighting more than one Chanuka candle each night (beginning on the 2nd night) and having more than one person in each house light their own candles.
Who Is a Mourner
A mourner is defined in halacha as someone mourning during the 12-month mourning period for parents or the 30-day mourning period for the other five relatives (spouse, brother, sister, son, daughter). After 30 days, one is no longer a mourner for anyone but one's parents.
Mourners' Restrictions
If the mourner goes about business as usual, it may show he or she doesn't care about the close relative who died. The mourner should ideally not want to do these things. The mourner honors the dead person by refraining from pampering him/herself and refraining from going about his or her life as usual.
Public Meals
A mourner may not attend a public meal for any purpose. For example, if the mourner attends a lecture or Torah class at which food is being served, he or she may not eat the food. This only applies to sit-down meals; snacking is permitted.
Siyum/Brit/Bar Mitzva
After 30 days after a parent's burial, a mourner may:
- Attend a siyum or bar mitzva and eat there.
- Attend a brit but not eat there.
Weddings
A mourner may not eat at a wedding and may not even be in the wedding hall after the ceremony took. The mourner may also not hear the music at a wedding.
Exceptions- If the mourner is the parent of someone getting married, the mourner can fully participate in the wedding.
- If the mourner is the bride or groom, he or she must normally wait to get married until after shloshim/30 days.
Kiddush and Shabbat or Festival Meals
A mourner may not publicly (noticeably) mourn on Shabbat or festivals so he or she may attend Shabbat or festival meals and kiddushes if he or she would be expected to attend. If the mourner always or routinely invites some person or a lot of different people on Shabbat or festivals, it is still permitted. If the mourner does not routinely invite some person or a lot of different people to a Shabbat or festival meal, then he or she may not, for his or her own enjoyment, invite guests for meals. However, the mourner is permitted to do so for other purposes (for the benefit of the invited person or people), such as kiruv or hachnasat orchim. There is no limit to how many guests the mourner may host.
The mourner may attend or host a sheva brachot in his/her home.
A mourner should not be invited to meals, even for Shabbat or festivals; but if he/she was invited, he/she may go.
Holidays
A mourner does eat at a Purim or Jewish festival seuda, since there is no mourning on Purim nor on any festival (except Chanuka).
- At night,
- On Tish'a B'Av,
- In a house of mourning, and
- Yom Kippur.
- Shabbat,
- Jewish festivals,
- Rosh Hashana, and
- Rosh Chodesh.
- Isru chag (the day after each of the Jewish festivals),
- Entire month of Nisan.
- All of Chanuka, Purim, Shushan Purim, Tu B'Shvat, Rosh Chodesh, and from Rosh Chodesh Sivan until the day after Shavuot.
-
Tishrei from shacharit before Yom Kippur until after Simchat Torah (Shmini Atzeret in Eretz Yisrael). Resume saying tachanun:
- Second day of Cheshvan, or
- Day after isru chag of Simchat Torah (this is the more prevalent custom among Ashkenazim). Each person should follow his or her family or community custom.
- Mohel,
- Sandak, or
- Father of a boy having his circumcision.
The purpose of Jewish fast days is to make us reflect on our behavior and improve it by:
- Eliminating negative actions and thoughts, and
- Taking more care in our observance of the commandments.
All fast days may be circumvented for health reasons. Consult a rabbi.
Fast days come in several varieties:
- Major fast days: Yom Kippur and the Ninth of Av (Tish'a B'Av).
- Minor fast days: There are four minor fast days; see below.
- Fast for First-Born
- Individual Fasts
The Major Fasts
Yom Kippur and the Ninth of Av begin before sunset and are both slightly longer than 24 hours. Yom Kippur is a festive day while, on the Ninth of Av, Jews mourn for the destruction of both Jerusalem Temples (the first was destroyed by Babylonians; the second, by the Romans). On both fasts, it is forbidden to:
- Eat or drink.
- Wear leather shoes (but you may wear any other clothing made of leather).
- Bathe (or even to wash anything more than fingers; you may not use a deodorant--not even a spray type--since it is similar to washing).
- Have marital relations.
- Use cosmetics or body scents.
The Minor Fasts
The four minor fasts begin 72 minutes before local sunrise. They technically end at dark but functionally end after ma'ariv (and for the Fast of Esther, after hearing the megila). Unlike most times in the Jewish calendar, this 72 minutes is normal time and NOT based on the current length of the day (sha'a zmanit):
- Fast of Esther (Ta'anit Esther): Day preceding Purim (or sometimes earlier).
- Fast of Gedalia (Tzom Gedalia): Usually the day after Rosh Hashana.
- Tenth of Tevet (Asara b' Tevet):
- Seventeenth of Tamuz (Shiv'asar b'Tamuz): Beginning of the Three Weeks of semi-mourning beforeTish'a b'Av.
Note On a fast day that has been delayed for Shabbat, there may be leniencies for:
- The mohel, sandak, and father of a baby getting a brit mila to eat after mincha.
- Pregnant or nursing women (this leniency applies to eating throughout the day).
Fast for first-born males 13 years old and older, on the day before Passover. This includes first-born cohanim and Levites (levi'im). The fast begins 72 normal minutes before sunrise and ends with kiddush at the seder. However, the widespread custom is to attend a siyum on the day before the first seder so that the first-born men do not need to fast on that day.
Personal Fasts
Fast by a groom and bride on their wedding day is an example of personal fasts. This fast begins 72 normal minutes before sunrise and ends with drinking wine under the chuppa.
A printed copy may also be useful as a guide to a specific siddur. Before the prayer service takes place, the actual page numbers may be copied from the siddur onto the pages of the Guide for quick reference during the service. (This could be done by the user or by someone who is more familiar with the prayer services, as an aid to help the user follow what is going on.)
Each individual says most of the prayers, but the leader sets the pace. He says out loud the last line or two of many paragraphs (and sometimes the next paragraph's first few words), to help others find where he is in the prayers.
Hint If you get lost, listen to the leader and try to find those words at the beginning or end of one of the paragraphs near where you think you should be!
Saying Amen
When the prayer leader/chazan says a blessing (Baruch ata adonai...) and finishes the final word, everyone usually replies amen.
Baruch Hu U'Varuch Shemo
It is common (but not required) to say baruch hu u'varuch shemo after hearing God's name (Adonai) when it is said in a blessing.
Note Some people say the phrase very loudly and slowly (pretentiously), but this wrong practice may prevent themselves and others from hearing the blessing's end and knowing when to say amen.
NoteIf you need to use the toilet between baruch she'amar and yishtabach, say asher yatzar after saying yishtabach and before saying yotzeir or.
Ma Tovu
Upon arriving in synagogue in the morning, say Ma tovu....
Talit
Married men (and also those with a tradition to wear a talit from bar mitzva age) normally put on their talit gadol on all days (except Tish'a b'Av morning).
For more details, see Talit (Gadol).
Tefilin
On weekdays, all men put on tefilin. They do not interrupt putting on tefilin to respond to other's prayers, not even to say amen.
For more details, see Tefilin.
Birchot HaShachar/Initial Blessings
If you have not yet said the initial blessings beginning with asher natan... through the end of ven brit, say them once you are in synagogue and after you have put on talit/tefilin (if relevant).
Everyone stands while the prayer leader reads the initial blessings aloud. They say amen after each one.
L'Olam Yehei Adam/Shema
L'olam yehei adam is said quietly, with everyone saying the shema line together.
Order of the Sacrifices
Some read (quietly) the order of the sacrifices.
13 Principles of Talmud Explanation/Kaddish
- The 13 principles of how the Talmud is explained are read quietly.
- Kaddish is said by any mourners.
- Everyone says, amen, yihei shmei raba...
Mizmor Shir/Kaddish
- Mizmor shir is read quietly.
- Another kaddish is said by the mourners.
Baruch she'amar is said by everyone, standing. The leader says the final blessing out loud.
Verses (Psukim)
The following several pages are verses (psukim) from various sources, said by everyone quietly.
- Everyone stands to say mizmor l'toda quietly (just for this paragraph).
- The next paragraph (yehi chevod) is read quietly.
Ashrei and 5 Psalms
Ashrei and the following five psalms (#146 to 150) are said quietly by everyone; the leader says the final line or two out loud.
Baruch Adonai L'Olam Amen v'Amen
Baruch adonai... is said by the leader.
VaYevarech David
The next section (from va'yevarech David until after bar'chu) is said quietly by everyone while standing.
Shirat HaYam
Shirat ha'yam is read quietly by everyone.
Yishtabach/Kaddish
Yishtabach is said quietly by everyone together. The leader says the final line of yishtabach out loud and then kaddish.
Bar'chu
- The leader says Bar'chu et Adonai ha'mevorach.
- Everyone bows from the waist and replies (aloud), Baruch Adonai ha'mevorach l'olam va'ed (which is then repeated by the leader).
- Everyone says the blessing's ending ...u'vorei et ha'kol.
Shema and Its Blessings
The next paragraphs lead up to the shema:
- Leader says, “Et shem ha'el...”
- Everyone says aloud, together: Kadosh, kadosh, kadosh... and Baruch kevod Adonai mi'mkomo.
- Leader says the final line or two of La'el baruch ne'imot... and everyone responds amen.
- Everyone says ahavat olam quietly.
-
Leader reads the final lines aloud.
Note It is the custom to not say amen to the blessing before shema.
- Everyone says the first line of the shema together and aloud, but Baruch shem... silently.
- Everyone reads the shema individually, and the leader repeats out loud Adonai eloheichem emet.
- Everyone reads the next paragraphs, through ezrat avoteinu, together, quietly.
Mi Chamocha
Stand for Mi chamocha until after the amida.
Adonai Yimloch
Everyone reads together and aloud: Adonai yimloch... until the final blessing before the amida.
Note At some time before completing that blessing, step back far enough (one large step is fine) so that you can take three small steps forward to begin the amida. If there is no room to step back, you may pray the amida without stepping forward.
The Amida
Amida: Details and Direction
For more details on saying the amida, see What To Pray: Set Prayers: Amida
For where to face during the amida, see Amida: Location: Where To Face
Stepping To Begin the Amida
After saying ga'al Yisrael, symbolically approach God by taking three steps forward (any size of steps is fine):
- Step forward with your right foot,
- Step forward with your left foot, and
- Step forward with your right foot.
- Bring your left foot to meet the right one, so that both feet are touching at the heels and at the balls (so that you are standing as if you had one leg, like the angels!)
Next, with your feet still together, do knee-bowing at the start and end of the first paragraph. You will also be bowing at:
- Beginning of modim (waist-bowing).
- End of modim (knee-bowing at Baruch ata Adonai of the blessing ending u'lecha na'eh l'hodot).
Slach Lanu
In slach lanu, when saying ki chatanu and ki fashanu, hit your chest over your heart with your fist.
Reason We are saying that we sinned, so we strike our heart for leading us astray.
Ending the Amida
Symbolically take leave of God by taking three steps back after Adonai tzuri v'go'ali:
- Step back on your left foot,
- Step back on your right foot,
- Step back on your left foot (and then place your right foot next to your left foot).
- Bow to the left while saying Oseh shalom bi'mromav...,
- Bow to the right while saying Hu ya'aseh shalom alenu, and
- Bow to the middle (straight in front of you) while saying Ve'al kol yisrael v'imru amen.
Reader's Repetition of Amida
At kedusha, everyone stands (even if they were sitting so far for the amida's repetition) with their feet together, again imitating the angels who only have one leg.
- The leader says nekadeish (in some places, everyone says nekadeish).
- Everyone says the next line together (kadosh, kadosh, kadosh...).
- After the leader says Halleluya, everyone else may move their feet (or sit down, if that is their custom).
- On fast days, the leader says an extra paragraph in shacharit (other paragraphs in mincha are said by everyone).
Tachanun
When To Say Tachanun
Tachanun is usually said on weekdays.
How To Say Tachanun
Tachanun is said differently, depending on if there is a Torah scroll in the room, as follows:
- Say Va'yomer David sitting down, while resting your head on your left arm (unless you are wearing tefilin on your left arm, in which case lean onto your right arm).
- When you reach shomer Yisrael, lift your head up and sit normally while saying the paragraphs until v'anachnu lo neida ma na'aseh.
- Before saying “na'aseh,” stand up for the remainder of tachanun.
- Say tachanun standing until Va'yomer David... at which time, everyone sits down.
- Follow the directions above for the remainder of tachanun.
Hallel
- When hallel is said, most of the psalms are said quietly by everyone. (In some synagogues, several of the psalms are sung in unison.)
- The lines beginning Hodu l'adonai... are read aloud by the leader.
- Everyone else responds aloud, Hodu l'adonai... and reads quietly the next line (which the leader then reads aloud when they finish).
- Similarly, Ana adonai is read responsively by the leader, followed by everyone else.
Kaddish
The leader says kaddish out loud.
Torah Reading (Mondays and Thursdays)
- Everyone reads quietly the phrases va'yehi be'nso'a... and brich shmei.
- The Torah is taken out and carried to the bima.
-
As each man (called an oleh) is called up to the Torah:
- The oleh says Bar'chu...
- Everyone responds Baruch Adonai....,
- The oleh repeats that line and says a blessing.
- Everyone answers amen.
- After each reading, the oleh says one more blessing and everyone replies amen.
- After the third aliya, the Torah is lifted up.
- Everyone says, V'zot haTorah....
- The Torah is rolled and wrapped.
- Meanwhile, the leader reads four paragraphs beginning, Yehi ratzon mi'lifnei avinu...
- The final paragraph, Acheinu kol bet yisrael... is read by everyone aloud.
- The Torah is put back while everyone reads two psalms quietly.
Ashrei/U'va L'Tzion
- Everyone reads ashrei quietly, followed by la'menatzeiach and u'va l'tziyon.
- Everyone together says, Kadosh, kadosh, kadosh and Baruch kevod.
Kaddish
The leader says kaddish.
Alenu
Everyone says alenu together.
Kaddish
Mourners say kaddish.
Psalm for the Day
Psalm for that day is read by everyone.
Kaddish
One more kaddish is said by the mourners.
L'David
- During Elul and into Tishrei, L'David is read by everyone.
- One more kaddish is said by the mourners.
Praying Ma'ariv
V'hu Rachum
Everyone reads the two introductory lines of v'hu rachum.
Bar'chu
- Leader says bar'chu.
- Everyone else responds, baruch Adonai....
- The leader repeats that line.
- Everyone reads the next paragraph/blessing.
- The leader says that final line out loud.
- Everyone responds amen.
Shema and Its Blessings
- The leader repeats the final two words of the shema and the word emet.
- Everyone continues quietly saying the phrases until Mi chamocha.
- Mi chamocha is said by everyone together including by the leader, who then also reads the next line.
- Everyone says Adonai yimloch... together, continuing through the end of the next blessing, which is repeated by the leader.
- Everyone says hashkiveinu quietly.
- The leader says the blessing shomer amo Yisrael la'ad out loud.
- Baruch Adonai l'olam... is said through to the end by everyone quietly.
- The leader says the final line and the final blessing out loud.
Kaddish
The leader says kaddish.
Amida
Everyone says the amida silently and individually.
Kaddish
The leader says kaddish.
Alenu
Everyone says alenu together.
Kaddish
Kaddish is said by any mourners.
Passover celebrates the seven or eight days starting with the 14th of Nisan, when God took the Israelites out of Egypt about 3300 years ago. The holiday has several names:
- Chag HaPesach--Holiday of "Skipping Over" (reflecting that God passed over the Jewish homes and did not kill the first-born sons, unlike those of the Egyptians);
- Chag HaAviv--Festival of Spring (the Jewish calendar is based on the moon and is adjusted to the solar cycle so that Passover always comes in the spring);
- Chag HaMatzot--Holiday of Unleavened Bread; and
- Zman Cheiruteinu--Time of our Freedom.
Introduction to Passover: Passover Observance
Chametz
Chametz Gamur and Ta'arovet Chametz
The Five Grains, once fermented into items such as bread or beer, are genuine chametz (chametz gamur) and are forbidden on Passover by the Torah (d'oraita). Ta'arovet chametz (a mixture containing chametz) includes foods such as breakfast cereal and are also forbidden on Passover.Rules for Chametz
- You may not own or see (your own) chametz during the entire period of Passover.
- You may not benefit in any way from chametz during Passover, whether it belongs to a Jew or to a non-Jew. If the chametz was owned by a Jew during Passover, you may not benefit from that chametz even after the holiday has ended.
What To Do with Chametz
Ideally, any chametz should be used up before Passover, given to a non-Jew, or destroyed. But if the chametz has significant value, the custom is to sell that chametz to a non-Jew. You do not need to sell kitniyot, but you must sell any genuine chametz and any mixtures of chametz (ta'arovet chametz).Passover and Nullification by 1/60th
During the year, 1/60th or less of an undesired substance is considered to be inconsequential and nullified by the other substances. But on Passover, any amount of leaven mixed in food is forbidden.However, the chametz in food acquired before Passover can be nullified before Passover, but ONLY if:
- It is 1/60th or less of the total volume of food,
- The food is liquid mixed in other liquid, or solid in other solid, AND
- The chametz/non-chametz elements cannot be easily separated from each other.
Four Steps To Eliminating Chametz
There are four means of eliminating chametz:-
Bedika: Searching
You try to find any chametz. -
Bitul: Verbal and Intentional Nullification
Since you may have overlooked some chametz during bedika, declare that any chametz in your possession is not important to you and has no value. -
Bi'ur: Burning
By burning and therefore destroying the chametz, we fulfill the Torah
commandment of “tashbitu” (making it cease to exist). -
Mechira: Selling
By changing the ownership, we no longer own chametz on Passover and we create the opportunity to re-acquire the chametz after Passover has ended if the non-Jewish buyer agrees.
Chametz Symbolism
Fermented grains represent (among other things) arrogance and pride: the puffing up of fermented grains is symbolic of people puffing up themselves. In Judaism, one way to get rid of a bad personal trait is to utterly destroy it and so we symbolically remove and destroy any fermented grain foods from our houses and ownership.Destroying chametz is not a violation of “do not destroy” (bal tashchit) since it is done to perform a commandment.
What Are Kitniyot
Kitniyot are foods that look similar to the five chametz grains or that could be ground into a flour that could look like flour from those grains, such as beans, peanuts, rice, corn, mustard seeds, and other food plants that are grown near the Five Grains.What To Do with Kitniyot
Kitniyot may not be used on Passover but do not need to be sold or removed from one's ownership. Kitniyot should be stored away from kosher for Passover food.Passover Sacrifice
In Temple times, the Passover sacrifice was to be eaten with one's family and possibly with neighbors, depending on the number of people present. The only two instances of kareit (being cut off spiritually) for not doing a positive commandment are for not doing a brit mila and not bringing a Passover offering (in Temple times).Seder
The Passover seder (order) was prescribed in ancient times as a means for helping all Jews, of all ages and both genders, to re-experience the transition from having been slaves to becoming free and from having ascended from idol worshippers to being monotheistic.- What Makes a Woman a Nida
Introduction to What Makes a Woman a Nida
Vaginal Blood Flow
Only vaginal blood flow makes a woman nida.
Nida D'Oraita
According to Torah law (d'oraita), a woman becomes a nida when she experiences a flow of uterine blood, preceded or accompanied by a hargasha. Because uterine blood flow is difficult to distinguish from the more general vaginal blood flow, we assume that a vaginal blood flow is from the uterus--unless a medical person (it could be a midwife) determines that the blood flow is not uterine.
Nida D'Rabanan
By rabbinic law (d'rabanan), a woman can become a nida even with only a qualifying stain (see below).
Hargasha
A hargasha is anything that signals that the woman's period is imminent. There are three classical hargashot, as well as possible hargashot that pertain only to an individual woman.
Note Many women today do not have hargashot.
Classical Hargashot
There are three classical hargashot:
1) Body Tremor
2) Petichat HaMakor
Some women, at petichat ha'makor (“opening of the uterus”), have a sensation of release similar to when one's bladder opens to urinate.
3) Zivat Davar Lach
Sensation of wet discharge that comes only with her period; this is not the wet discharge that every woman normally feels multiple times daily.
Note She does not necessarily need to feel it coming from her cervix in order for it to make her a nida.
Individual Hargashot
What Is an Individual Hargasha
The individual hargasha can be any physiological occurrence (pimples on her face, a bout of yawning, a bloated feeling in the belly, etc.) that correlates with a woman's getting her period within 24 hours. To become established as a hargasha, it must have happened three times in a row.
Note Cramps for most women may be a hargasha, since they may mean that the woman is about to have her period.
When a woman has a hargasha, we assume that her period has started, and she should immediately stop what she is doing and check internally with a bedika cloth. If she does a bedika as soon as possible and the cloth shows a forbidden color, or shows no discharge at all, she immediately becomes nida for at least 12 days, after which she goes to the mikva.
Note If she had a hargasha and finds no blood and no discharge, she becomes a nida, since we assume there was blood and she just didn't find it. If the bedika cloth shows brown, magenta, salmon, brick, amber, orange, etc., the rabbi will want to see the cloth to determine her status.
Note Most medium browns are OK.
What To Do If Not Sure
If she is not sure she has had a hargasha, she asks a rabbi and together they will sort out the answer.
Nida D'Rabanan
Stain (without Hargasha)
Stain Colors
A rabbi should be consulted in all matters of questionable colors of stains. Some may seem to you to be forbidden but turn out to be permissible, and vice versa.
Stain Location
A stain of a color that could make a woman a nida can be on material or on the woman's body. None of the following lenient conditions apply if the woman is nida d'oraita:
- Not positively attributable to another cause, AND
- At least the size of a gris. For small, unconnected spots, she must evaluate whether, together, they equal the size of a gris (on material, the spots DO NOT get combined). If yes, she should consult a rabbi.
II. HARCHAKOT: How Do the Couple Conduct Themselves while the Wife is a Nida?
According to Torah law, when a woman is a nida, she and her husband are prohibited not only from having intercourse, but also (“lo tikrav”—Vayikra 18:19) from having any physical contact of a passionate or romantic nature (negiya shel chibuk v'nishuk)--those patterns of physical contact that often lead to intercourse. Since the penalty for violation is kareit, husband and wife should live separately during the nida period, but because we don't, we use “distancers” (harchakot) as reminders of distance while living together in the same home. The harchakot sensitize us to the smallest gestures of love. The couple who know that in a finite amount of time their union will not only be permitted, but even be davar sh'bekedusha--a thing of sanctity--will have the willpower to wait it out.
These harchakot are applied during the nida period:
III. Tahara after Nida:
- Wash or cleanse lower regions of the body.
- Do an internal check/bedika: Insert a white cloth into vagina and circle it around to make sure to get every nook and cranny.
- Moch dachuk: Insert a bedika cloth within two halachic hours of sunset and leave it in until after dark.
- Bedika
- White Underpants
- No Hesech Da'at
Situation A woman found a stain and asked a rabbi about it. She assumed she was definitely nida.
What To Do Once she assumes that she has become a nida during that seven-day period, she must begin her count again--even once she has found out that she was not, in fact, a nida.
Note If she asked the rabbi while not yet assuming that she was definitely a nida, she may continue her original count after the rabbi determines that she was not a nida.
- Full body cast.
- Being covered with sand.
- Being sweaty from head to toe.
- Moisturizer that covers most of her body.
- Adhesive that is left on her skin after a band-aid has been removed.
- Imperfect manicure, if she would not go to an interview like that.
If You Forgot
- Shalom Bayit (in this case, she is not permitted see her husband until after dark Friday night).
- Dangerous Neighborhood.
- Infertility Issues (if she will miss ovulation if she does not go Friday night).
- Enter the water until it is about 12 inches above the navel.
- Make sure that every part of your body is relaxed (if you squeeze anything, you create crevices and cracks that impede complete access to your skin).
- “Flesh”/basar is exposed to the water when standing while leaning a little forward.
- Exhale and push yourself under the water until you are certain that all of your body and all of your hair are submerged.
- Once your head is above the surface of the water, say the blessing and then immerse again, the same way.
IV. Anticipating the Next Period/Veset
What To Anticipate
In anticipating the time of the month when her period is most likely to occur (onat ha'veset), a woman must determine both:
- The day of the month, and
- Whether it will begin during the daytime period (sunrise to sunset) or the nighttime period (from sunset to sunrise)
Regular and Irregular
Every woman needs to be able to anticipate her next period, whether she is a) regular or b) irregular. “Regular” is determined by any pattern to one's menstrual cycle that occurs three times in a row.
Note It is very uncommon for a woman to maintain her regular period for a long time.
Anticipating a Regular Period
Here are the five most classic regular patterns:
- Veset HaChodesh (Monthly Cycle)
- Veset Haflaga (Intervals Cycle)
- Veset HaGuf (Body Symptoms Cycle)
- Veset HaMurkav (Combination Cycle)
- Yom HaChodesh
- Haflaga
- Ona Beinonit
By Sara-Malka (Diane) Laderman
Kosher (Hebrew for “fitting” or “suitable”) means foods that comply with certain laws. Kosher rules could be summed up like this:
- The food must start out kosher.
- The food must stay kosher during processing.
Starting Out Kosher
The Food's Natural State
Rule #1
Plants
All Plants, Raw, Are Inherently Kosher
All raw, unprocessed plants are kosher. However, restrictions on produce grown in Eretz Yisrael may apply (teruma, ma'aser, shmita), and orla may apply to produce grown anywhere in the world.
- For laws about eating perennial fruits, see appropriate listings under Agriculture.
- For laws regarding bugs in plant produce, see below.
Mammals
All Mammals that Chew Their Cud and
Have Split Hooves Are Inherently Kosher
Kosher mammals are all cud-chewing, split-hooved animals (Leviticus/Vayikra 11:1-8 and Deuteronomy/Devarim 14:3-8). Included are both domestic ("beheimot"--goat, sheep, and cow families ) and wild ("chayot"--deer, giraffe, and wild goat and sheep families) mammals. There are two (sometimes) practical differences between the two groups:
- You may eat the cheilev (a type of fat) from a wild kosher mammal, and
- After slaughtering, you must cover the blood from a wild kosher mammal but not a domesticated kosher mammal.
Hooves
Q: How can you tell if an animal has split hooves?
A:
1) Split Hooves Must Be Hooves
Hooves must be made of hoof material--a hard substance similar to your fingernails—not fleshy feet.
2) Split Hooves Must Be Split
Hooves must be split all the way through from front to back.
Cud-Chewing
Q: How can you tell if an animal chews its cud?
A: Watch for the sliding ball.
When a cud-chewing animal starts to eat, you will see it bolting down its food into its first stomach, like a hungry 9th grade boy (much like humans racing to throw groceries into their shopping carts), in case a lion or bear is coming to eat him or her.
Next, it will find a safe place to more leisurely bring up its cud and chew its stash. During cud-chewing time, especially for goats (sheep are usually too woolly to make out shapes), you will distinctly see:
- Racketball shape popping up the goat's throat,
- Goat's cheeks ballooning out and its lower jaw chewing in a horizontal figure-eight pattern, and, a little later,
- Racketball shape sliding down the throat again.
You will soon see the shape of a new racketball pop up the throat.
By contrast, a non-kosher animal will chew slowly and well the first time—it will not have another chance to chew its food later, like the kosher animals do.
Imposters
Animals in the camel family (camel, llama, alpaca, vicunya, etc.) appear to have split hooves when seen from the front. These are actually just two long toenails in front of a padded, fleshy, incompletely split foot, which you can easily distinguish as a whole foot when looking from the back.
One non-kosher animal has great-looking split hooves but doesn't chew its cud—animals from the pig family.
Insight from Masechet Chullin
All kosher mammals inherently have horns; all non-kosher animals are hornless. Bottom line: If you find a horned animal, it's definitely kosher.
But horns are not a halachic requirement from the Torah like split hooves and cud chewing are, which is a good thing, since some breeds of goats, sheep, and cows are naturally “polled” (born hornless) or their horn buds were removed when they were young to prevent damage later.
Fowl
All Fowl That Have “Masoret” Are Inherently Kosher
Not everyone's agreed as to what the Torah means by a “netz” or a “yanshuf.” So when Leviticus/VaYikra 11:13-19 lists the 20 non-kosher flying species—allowing us to eat anything NOT on the list—we ignore the list and just eat what we know our ancestors traditionally ate as kosher. This tradition is known as masoret.
In the US, we eat all breeds of chickens and--in most circles--turkey, all breeds of goose except those whose beak is black (such as the Canadian goose) or whose beak does not go straight back to its forehead (like the Chinese goose), and Peking duck (we don't eat mallard or Muscovy ducks or their close relatives).
In Israel, additional birds eaten as kosher include mallard and Muscovy ducks, guinea fowl, Couternix quail, pigeons, and turtle doves.
Note Some Jewish families originating in Germany, Iran, and other places maintain their masoret on eating pheasant, and you may be able to receive masoret on various species from researchers such as “The Aris”--Dr. Ari Greenspan and Rabbi Dr. Ari Zivotofsky, both Jewish ritual slaughterers (shochtim) who have spent the last 20 years interviewing and videotaping elderly European and Sefardi immigrants to Israel as to what birds they ate as kosher in their home countries. You can google their work or read some of Dr. Zivotofsky's articles on www.kashrut.com.
Zivchei Cohen, a book written and published by a Jewish ritual slaughterer (shochet) in Italy, shows colored illustrations of 29 species known to be kosher, including peacock, pheasant, Couternix quail, mallard duck, and numerous songbirds. Maor L'Masechet Chullin U'Vechorot (vol. 2, Feldheim, pp. 29-33) reproduces these colorful illustrations and names each bird in five languages, noting that the 29 were listed to acquaint students of Jewish ritual slaughter (shechita) only with rarer birds' identities and that the well-known kosher species were not included in the 29!
Chazal noted that kosher birds share certain characteristics:
-
They sit on a branch with three toes in front and one in back. Non-kosher birds usually sit two and two, as they need equal strength on both sides of their feet for killing and carrying off food, except for:
- Owls, whose feet are flexible and can move their toes to the side, forward, or back, and
- Vultures, who need balance walking instead of gripping, since they walk on the ground to eat food that is already dead.
- They lay eggs that are not entirely round or oval but are, well, egg-shaped, with kad v'chad—a rounded end and a pointed end. Not all egg-shaped eggs are kosher, but all totally round eggs, if from fowl, are not kosher (fish eggs from kosher fish, which are perfectly round, are of course kosher). There are some eggs, including from doves, that seem perfectly oval but are actually kosher.
Fish
All Fish That Have Fins and Scales Are Inherently Kosher
This excludes most eels (some conger eels that have kosher scales are kosher!) and all shellfish, catfish, sharks, swordfish, sea urchins, jellyfish, sea slugs, and many other sea creatures.
In addition to commonly eaten kosher fish such as salmon and tuna, some unexpected fish are also kosher, including barracuda, goldfish, and many other pet and tropical fish.
Rule #5Grasshoppers
All other creatures, except the four kosher locusts, are not kosher.
Kosher from Kosher
Whatever Food Substances Come Out of a Kosher Animal Are Inherently Kosher…
except for some fats (cheilev), blood, and the sciatic nerve (gid ha'nashe).
Milk from a cow (a kosher animal) is kosher. Milk from a pig (a non-kosher animal) is not. An egg from a kosher bird is kosher; an egg from a non-kosher bird is not kosher.
Exception
Q: Since bees are not kosher, how can we eat honey?
A: Honey is not produced from bee parts, but rather from flower parts.
Rule #7
Animal Blood
May Not Be Eaten in Any Form.
Note Fish blood is not forbidden.
Preparing Kosher
Harvest and Kitchen
Plants
What To Check
- Remove bugs (see Why Bugs May Not Be Eaten)
- Select fruits and vegetables that have no harvest-related problems such as orla (and in Eretz Yisrael, kilayim, shmita, etc.); separate out teruma and ma'aser from any Israeli-grown produce that requires it (see Teruma/Ma'aser: Ownership: What Is Hefkeir Produce)
- Make sure that any liquid grape product to be handled by a non-Jew for a Jew has been cooked or pasteurized before being handled. Cooking turns the wine into an inferior product disqualified for use in idolatrous practices.
Animals
Mammals
Slaughter/Shechita
Kosher mammals must be slaughtered in the quickest and most humane manner possible, according to halacha. A highly trained ritual slaughterer (shochet) must perform the slaughtering (“shechita”). He checks the knife before the slaughtering to ensure there are no burrs to catch on the animal's throat. He says the blessing “al ha'shchita” and then cuts the windpipe and the esophagus as well as the neck arteries. After slaughtering, he checks the knife again for burrs (if he finds one, the animal is not kosher) and checks the animal's lungs to make sure the animal wasn't about to die of lung perforation in the near future.
Certain types of adhesions may be found on the animal's lungs. If they can be removed (by peeling) without perforating the lungs, the meat is kosher. If there are only small and easily removed lesions, the meat is glatt (“smooth”). If there are no lesions at all, the meat is classified as “Beit Yosef.”
Kosher lamb and goat are always glatt/chalak kosher.
Actually, there are 18 organic or physical defects that may make meat non-kosher but, as a practical matter, we only check for lesions in the lungs and also in the second stomach.
If the animal proves to have been healthy, it is sometimes hung upside down to allow the arterial blood to drain out. (It is possible to hang the animals before being slaughtered but this is not the usual method).
Skinning and Traiboring
The animal is skinned.
Next, the animal is traibored. Traiboring removes certain nerves, sinews, blood vessels, and fats that we don't eat, including the sciatic nerve damaged when our forefather Jacob wrestled with the angel at the Jabbok stream.
In the US, only the forequarters are traibored and eaten, and the hind portion is sold to the non-Jewish consumer. In Israel, the hind portion is traibored too and eaten as kosher.
May you traibor meat once it's cooked? And if not, how did Jews traibor more than 1 million Passover lamb offerings that had to be slaughtered and prepared between midday and evening (and it takes 2-3 hours to traibor one lamb!). The Jewish commentator The Raavad says the Passover lamb was traibored before roasting; Rambam disagrees, since the lamb had to be roasted whole. Rambam opines that the sinew, unlike fat, does not impart its flavor to the meat and that people would just traibor the Passover offering meat on their plates.
Removing Blood
The next steps involve removing blood (“kashering”) and can be done at the butcher's or at your home. The meat is cut, rinsed, soaked for at least 30 minutes, put on a slanted board to allow the blood to run off, and covered with kosher (a coarse) salt for one hour. After being rinsed three more times, the meat is now kashered.
Preparing the Liver
The liver is cut halfway through several times and covered with kosher salt top and bottom. You can oven broil the liver on a rack reserved for that purpose. The blood must be able to drain away from the liver
You can instead broil the liver over a fire outdoors. Grilling outside will give the liver a delicious smoky flavor that even children like--but do NOT allow the neighborhood cats to steal your livers off the grill!
Fowl
Covering Blood
Kosher fowl is slaughtered and, when it stops flapping, is usually hung upside down to allow the arterial blood to run out and onto the earth. Cover all the blood with dirt (a mitzva from the Torah--mitzva d'oraita) and say the blessing “al kisuy dam b'afar.”
Defeathering
Rinse with water and remove the feathers. Defeathering can take a while for chickens and up to two hours for one small duck, especially if you are saving the down!
Removing Internal Organs
Rinse the bird. Usually, a circle of flesh surrounding the anus is cut out. Start pulling out the digestive system. Recognizable items such as the liver, heart, and giblets will come out and eventually you will be able to stick in your hand and pull out the lungs. This is not as cold and unpleasant as it sounds because the bird will be warm for quite a while.
Salting
Once the bird is defeathered and the internal organs have been removed, rinse and salt with kosher salt inside and out and put it on a slanting board for an hour. Rinse three more times and cook!
Preparing the Giblets
Cut off the hard coating at one end of the giblets and rinse out the fine sand within. Remove the yellow internal lining. Salt and kasher with the rest of the bird.
Preparing the Liver
To kasher the liver, see Preparing the Liver, above, for meat liver.
Fish
Buying Fish
Kosher fish bought from a store in which non-kosher fish are also sold should have any cut surfaces scraped and should be rinsed before using. Ideally, the knife that cuts the fish should be washed with soap and water beforehand.
Grasshoppers
Chagav Grasshoppers
Not much preparation needed here. Many Yemenites just twist off their heads and eat. B'tei'avon!
Substances from Animals
Milk
Dairy must be kept separate from meat, with a separate set of pots, pans, servers, scrubbers, and dishpans each for dairy and meat. See Kashrut: Dairy/Meat Combinations.
Eggs
Eggs must be checked for blood spots. Throw out a fertilized egg with a blood spot. You may remove the blood in the white of the egg and eat the rest of an unfertilized egg, but the custom is to not eat the egg at all.
Unwanted Additives
Manufacturing Aids
In the US, food manufacturers are allowed to add “manufacturing aids”--even more than 1/60th of the volume of the other ingredients--without listing them. Some foods therefore need special supervision to ensure non-kosher substances have not been added.
Examples
- Kosher oils may be deodorized by heating them in vats that previously contained non-kosher oil, which renders the formerly kosher oil non-kosher. Or they may be put into tankers previously used for non-kosher liquids.
- Food colorings may come from the cochineal insect, which is non-kosher, and flavorings may be derived from the musk of non-kosher animals.
- Cheeses may have non-kosher rennet or pig milk added. Also, the rabbis of thousands of years ago made an injunction that even where the ingredients are kosher, cheese still requires kosher supervision.
- Maple syrup in the vat may be stirred with bacon (which is non-kosher) to reduce the froth produced by boiling.
- Candy may include non-kosher oil that is put into the molds so the candy does not stick.
- Kosher meat might not be kosher for Passover.
Transference of Taste (Ta'am)
Sometimes dairy will spatter onto a meat utensil, or someone will set a hot pot of kosher food into a non-kosher sink. Or someone will cut a lemon or onion with a dairy knife and then put the lemon into a pot used for meat. What happens next depends on whether the offending substance was:
- Charif (spicy/sour/strong) enough to transfer the taste to the new item.
- Hotter than yad soledet bo (too hot to hold your hand in it for a few seconds—about 120° F, or 49° C).
- More than 1/60th of the total volume.
Kitchen Set Up
A hungry Martian landing in a modern kosher kitchen must assume earthlings eat in binary: Ideally, two sinks. Two dish towels. Two sponges. Two dishpans. Two cutting boards. Even, if the owner is fortunate, two dishwashers.
And what about those strange markings on the pots, pans, and servers? Perhaps he'll find a bright splotch of red paint or an “F” (for fleishig--Yiddish for “meat”) lettered in nail polish on utensils in the left cabinets. Blue paint or nail polish, or an “M” (for milchig--Yiddish for milk) on utensils in the right cabinets. The plates, bowls, and silverware in left cabinets do not in any way match those in the right cabinets. Somewhere in a central cabinet, pots, pans, and servers are painted with a white dot, marked with a “P” for pareve, or left unmarked.
Opening the pantry, little symbols jump out from canned and packaged goods. Star-K, O-U, O-K, KOF K….. Only the dried beans and grains seem symbol-less. And the freezer? Well stocked but no frozen bacon, pepperoni pizza, and shellfish TV dinners.…
How do these people eat?
The Great Divide
Separating Dairy and Meat
Welcome to the world of dairy and meat. Most kashrut problems in the kitchen involve the transfer of milk or meat flavor to the other gender by means of heat or, less commonly, by hot/spiciness.
It's easy to be jealous of vegetarians, or people who only eat plants and dairy products or who only eat plants and meat products! They never confuse their pots and serving utensils or deal with spatters of hot dairy foods onto meat utensils or vice versa. Large institutions and kosher cafeterias, similarly, may not have these mix-ups, since they can usually devote a whole room to a dairy or a meat kitchen.
Here's how the rest of us live:
Countertops
If you can, designate some countertops for dairy and some for meat. This will help you stay organized spatially. If you have only one sink, you may need to use the counter to the left for one dishrack (dairy or meat) and the counter to the right for your other dishrack.
Some countertop materials, such as granite, can be kashered by pouring boiling water over them. This will make the counters kosher and pareve (neutral--not dairy or meat). Once you have kashered your counter(s), you will be able to set down hot utensils, pots, and pans directly onto the counter (dairy utensils on your designated dairy counter; meat utensils on your designated meat counter).
If your countertop is not kosher or kasherable, you will need to cover the countertop before setting down hot (above 120° F) utensils, pots, and pans. Trivets work fine but so does a simple piece of corrugated cardboard in a pinch.
Dishes and Flatware
If feasible, select different patterns of dishes and flatware for dairy and meat so you can tell them apart. It is helpful to store the dairy and meat dishes in separate locations, preferably close to the counter of its gender. Porous dishes (stoneware, china, ...) cannot be kashered once used for hot non-kosher food and cannot be changed from one gender to the other. Metal dishes generally can be kashered. Glass only assumes a gender if it is placed directly on a fire or other heat source (to at least boiling temperature) or into a hot oven, so even if you pour boiling water or hot food into a glass bowl, such as hot pasta, and add cheese or other dairy food, the bowl remains pareve (or whichever gender it was previously).
Sinks and Dishracks
If you don't have two sinks--one for dairy and one for meat--and must use the same sink for both, try to choose different colors for your dairy, meat, and pareve dishpans, dishracks, and sponges/scrubbers (or sponge holders). If not, distinguish your dairy dishpans, dishracks, and sponges/scrubbers (or sponge holders) from your meat ones by placing them on opposite sides of the sink. Neutral, or pareve, dishes/cookware require a third sponge and dishpan. In a pinch, you can wash dishes, pots, and utensils by holding them in the air or placing them on a counter (whether either kashered or not) next to the sink as long as the dishware, pots, etc., do not reach 120° F.
Drawers
You can designate one drawer for dairy flatware and a second drawer for meat (and a third drawer for pareve). Color-coding or purchasing “dairy” and “meat” stickers to place on the outsides of cabinets and drawers can be especially helpful if anyone else will be cooking/washing dishes in your house and doesn't know your kitchen well.
Cooking Utensils/Food Processors
Distinguish your cooking utensils (your choice of colors) for dairy, meat, or pareve by using paint or nail polish, using different patterns, or even different shapes (one person uses round baking dishes for dairy and rectangular ones for meat!). If you lack drawer space, hang utensils from the wall or overhead rack or put them on your counter in jars color-coded for dairy, meat, or pareve. In a pinch, colored electrical tape can be used temporarily to mark dairy or meat servers or serving pieces (until it falls off during washing or turns black in the oven…).
You will only need one blender, blending stick, bread machine, mixer, food processor, etc., if you always keep them pareve. Otherwise, you may need duplicates of these items. Color-code them as well.
Stove Burners
To kasher a non-kosher stove burner, clean off any hard deposits on the grate, cover the burner with a sheet of metal (to hold the heat on the grate), and heat it full-blast for 45 minutes. (See halachot below for kashering burners by putting them in the oven.)
Stovetop
A stainless steel stovetop can be kashered, but a ceramic one (due to porousness) might not be kasherable-consult a rabbi. When cooking, place an appropriate spoon rest or bowl nearby (for dairy or meat, depending on what you are cooking) to hold your hot stirring spoon or spatula. This way, you won't need to set down your hot stirring utensil onto a non-kosher countertop or stovetop, or place a hot dairy stirrer where you previously set down a hot meat spatula.
Oven
You can kasher a non-kosher oven by cleaning off any accumulation of old food (whether burned on or not, it must be removed) and turning up the oven full blast for 40 minutes. You may use the same oven for dairy and meat foods if you always keep either the dairy or meat covered. Consider the oven to be one gender and always cover liquid foods of the opposite gender (dry foods do not require a cover).
Cutting Board
If you only have one cutting board for fruits and vegetables and one knife, you may want to keep them pareve. The main kosher problems with knives and cutting boards happen when cutting a fruit or vegetable with a strong-spicy taste that can transfer the milk or meat status of one utensil or food to another. Such items are garlic, lemon, onion, and sour apples, and sour grapefruits.
Examples
- Garlic was chopped with meat knife on a dairy cutting board (rendering the garlic, the knife, and cutting board non-kosher), or
- Onions cut with a dairy knife were tossed into a boiling meat pot (rendering the pot and contents non-kosher unless the onions were less than 1/60th the volume of the pot's food).
TABLE'S SET
Glasses, washed, can be used for a dairy or meat meal. You can use the same salt and pepper shakers and clean glasses for dairy and meat; however, it is recommended to use separate salt and pepper shakers since you might have food of one gender on your hands when you use the shakers of the opposite gender. If you typically use a table for serving either dairy or meat, and want to serve the opposite without switching tablecloths, lift the tablecloth and use the original table surface or cover the tablecloth with placemats. If one person wants to eat dairy and another wants to eat meat at the same time on the same table, place a reminder to remind them not to mix the foods (different placemats or tablecloths, physical barrier between the people's dishes, etc.).
COOKING FOR RELIGIOUS JEWISH FRIENDS
Let's say you don't keep kosher and want to have your kosher-observant friend over. What to serve?
As long as your utensils are clean, you chose kosher foods (see Going Shopping, below) or fresh fruits and vegetables, nothing gets 120° F or above, there is no involvement of anything spicy (charif), and you don't mix dairy and meat (don't offer a kosher bologna sandwich with kosher Swiss cheese!), everything should be OK. Some people will prefer if you serve them using disposable plates, bowls, flatware, and cups; if you are Jewish, you should only serve on disposables. Some will prefer to be in the kitchen during food preparation. Don't be offended; it's hard to keep track of everything to remember even in a kitchen set up for being kosher!
You might want to keep the wrappers or containers from any processed food so that the kosher guest can see what you actually are serving and check for the ingredients or for a kosher supervision symbol.
GOING SHOPPING
Major towns usually have at least one kosher supermarket, but you can find plenty of kosher food in regular supermarkets too. (Even in Salt Lake City, home of the Mormons, a major supermarket chain sells Empire Kosher Chickens!) Here are some tips:
- You may consider all fresh and uncut fruits and vegetables to be kosher. Sharp-flavored fruits and vegetables such as garlic, when cut, must be cut with a kosher utensil.
- Look for a kosher symbol (“hechsher”) on prepared foods (except those foods that do not need a hechsher—see When Hechsher Needed and When Hechsher NOT Needed).
For more information on kosher symbols and on what goes into certifying a prepared food as kosher, see this link: http://kosherquest.org/symbols.php
WHY EAT ONLY KOSHER?
The basic reason that Jews only eat kosher food is because God commanded us to do so. There are many explanations of how eating kosher benefits us. One approach is that kosher food enhances the spiritual well being of the Jewish people. That holiness is blocked when we eat non-kosher.
While kosher food raises us up spiritually, we raise it up too. When we say the correct blessing before or after we eat, we acknowledge that God is the food's true source. When we use food's resulting health and strength to perform God's commandments, we reunite our food and ourselves with our higher purposes, “rectifying the world.” That brings spiritual and physical blessing down to us and to the world.
You don't want a rapacious spirit? Don't eat predators. You don't want to think like a bottom-feeder? Don't eat scavengers—whether catfish or vultures or pigs—or reptiles, amphibians, or bugs (except kosher grasshoppers!). You don't want to be callous? Don't eat the life-blood of a bird or mammal—or even the bloodspot of an egg. You don't want to be cruel? Make sure the animals you eat were slaughtered quickly and humanely. Don't want to separate yourself from worshipping the Only One? Don't drink wine or grape juice that could have been used for idol worship.
And non-Jews? Shouldn't they keep kosher too?
Non-Jews must keep only one kosher law--aver min ha'chai. This means non-Jews, like Jews, may not cut off and eat the limb of a live animal.
We can come up with numerous explanations for why keeping kosher is healthier, more pleasant, more logical, or more spiritual than eating non-kosher. But the bottom line is, we do it because God says to, we are here to serve Him, and we trust that God wants what is best for us!