- Candle-lighting for Chanuka (see Chanuka: Candles: Who Should Light )
- Candle-lighting for Shabbat, Jewish festivals, Rosh Hashana, and Yom Kippur.
- Havdala (say or hear) after Shabbat, Jewish festivals, Rosh Hashana, and Yom Kippur.
- Kiddush (say or hear) on the first night (or first two nights outside Eretz Yisrael) of every Jewish festival, and also the next morning.
-
Passover (all commandments, including eating matza at the Passover seder).
Note Because she must eat matza, she must therefore say birkat ha'mazon afterward (so if a woman omits ya'ale v'yavo in birkat ha'mazon at the seder, she must repeat birkat ha'mazon!).
- Megila on Purim.
- Shabbat (For why women must keep time-dependent, positive commandments on Shabbat, see Introduction to Shabbat )
-
Shofar on Rosh Hashana.
Note Jewish women universally accepted upon themselves to hear shofar on Rosh Hashana, but they only need to hear 30 blasts.
- Hearing the reading of Parashat Zachor.
- Eating a “new” fruit.
- Wearing a new garment.
- Lighting Chanuka candles at home for the first time that year.
- Light Chanuka candles in synagogue.
- Read the megila.
- Blow shofar on Rosh Hashana.
- Giving charity to poor people.
-
Giving gifts of ready-to-eat food to friends.
Reason To promote friendship and a feeling of community.
- Reading the megila of Esther at night and the next day.
- Eating a festive meal.
-
Giving three half-dollars (or whatever the local unit of coin currency is where you live) to charity in commemoration of the half-shekel, which was given by all Jews to the Temple when it stood in Jerusalem.
Note This is not actually an observance of Purim, but it has become traditional to give the 3 half-dollars on Purim.
- Dressing up in costumes.
- Making noise during the reading of Haman's (and his wife's) name in the megila, in order to wipe out their names.
- Drinking more wine than normal.
The dead person benefits if his/her son or sons lead public prayer services, whether during shloshim or the entire year (11 or 12 months). However, if the mourner is uncomfortable leading the minyan or is not a good reader or will be embarrassed, he should not feel obligated to do so.
A mourner does not lead a minyan on:
-
Shabbat;
-
Jewish Festivals (including chol ha'moed);
-
Purim;
-
Rosh Chodesh.
Opinions differ concerning Chanuka, so follow your local custom.
- Regarding the order in which they are to be performed, and
- If there is no specific reason to do the less frequent one.
Another Example Friday before sunset when Chanuka will be on Shabbat--lighting Shabbat candles is done more frequently, but we light the Chanuka candles first since if we lit the Shabbat candles first, it would already be Shabbat and we could not light the Chanuka candles at all.
- At night,
- On Tish'a B'Av,
- In a house of mourning, and
- Yom Kippur.
- Shabbat,
- Jewish festivals,
- Rosh Hashana, and
- Rosh Chodesh.
- Isru chag (the day after each of the Jewish festivals),
- Entire month of Nisan.
- All of Chanuka, Purim, Shushan Purim, Tu B'Shvat, Rosh Chodesh, and from Rosh Chodesh Sivan until the day after Shavuot.
-
Tishrei from shacharit before Yom Kippur until after Simchat Torah (Shmini Atzeret in Eretz Yisrael). Resume saying tachanun:
- Second day of Cheshvan, or
- Day after isru chag of Simchat Torah (this is the more prevalent custom among Ashkenazim). Each person should follow his or her family or community custom.
- Mohel,
- Sandak, or
- Father of a boy having his circumcision.
- Making them beautiful (hidur mitzva), or
- Observing non-required stringencies (mehadrin).
- Women baking challa for Shabbat and Jewish festivals (and separating challa as a remembrance of the challa that was given to the priests/cohanim in the Temple).
- Wearing especially nice clothes and eating special foods on Shabbat and Jewish festivals.
- Using beautiful fragrances, tastes, textures, colors, and artistry in serving God.
- Shabbat/Jewish festival table (set with beautiful challa cover, silver, kiddush cups).
- Havdala set and pleasant-smelling spices for havdala.
- Sukka and putting your finest things in it.
- Etrog/etrog case.
- Shofar.
- Seder plate, matza holder, and matza cover.
- Illuminated hagadas (hagadot) and megilas (megilot).
- Chanuka candle-holder (menora, chanukiya).
- Torah scroll written with a fine pen and beautiful script and wrapped in beautiful silks.
- Mezuza covers.
- Ketuba.
- Wimple (to wrap baby in prior to brit mila; then donated to hold the two parts of the Torah together).
- Elijah's Chair/Kisei Eliyahu.
- Synagogues.
- Chuppa.
- Chalav Yisrael--When consuming milk and milk products, eating or drinking only those items whose production was supervised by religious Jews;
- Pat Yisrael—When eating bread, only eating bread baked by Jews (not necessarily by religious Jews);
- Glatt meat—When eating meat, eating only meat that had no lesions on the animal's lungs;
- Lighting more than one Chanuka candle each night (beginning on the 2nd night) and having more than one person in each house light their own candles.
Who Is a Mourner
A mourner is defined in halacha as someone mourning during the 12-month mourning period for parents or the 30-day mourning period for the other five relatives (spouse, brother, sister, son, daughter). After 30 days, one is no longer a mourner for anyone but one's parents.
Mourners' Restrictions
If the mourner goes about business as usual, it may show he or she doesn't care about the close relative who died. The mourner should ideally not want to do these things. The mourner honors the dead person by refraining from pampering him/herself and refraining from going about his or her life as usual.
Public Meals
A mourner may not attend a public meal for any purpose. For example, if the mourner attends a lecture or Torah class at which food is being served, he or she may not eat the food. This only applies to sit-down meals; snacking is permitted.
Siyum/Brit/Bar Mitzva
After 30 days after a parent's burial, a mourner may:
- Attend a siyum or bar mitzva and eat there.
- Attend a brit but not eat there.
Weddings
A mourner may not eat at a wedding and may not even be in the wedding hall after the ceremony took. The mourner may also not hear the music at a wedding.
Exceptions- If the mourner is the parent of someone getting married, the mourner can fully participate in the wedding.
- If the mourner is the bride or groom, he or she must normally wait to get married until after shloshim/30 days.
Kiddush and Shabbat or Festival Meals
A mourner may not publicly (noticeably) mourn on Shabbat or festivals so he or she may attend Shabbat or festival meals and kiddushes if he or she would be expected to attend. If the mourner always or routinely invites some person or a lot of different people on Shabbat or festivals, it is still permitted. If the mourner does not routinely invite some person or a lot of different people to a Shabbat or festival meal, then he or she may not, for his or her own enjoyment, invite guests for meals. However, the mourner is permitted to do so for other purposes (for the benefit of the invited person or people), such as kiruv or hachnasat orchim. There is no limit to how many guests the mourner may host.
The mourner may attend or host a sheva brachot in his/her home.
A mourner should not be invited to meals, even for Shabbat or festivals; but if he/she was invited, he/she may go.
Holidays
A mourner does eat at a Purim or Jewish festival seuda, since there is no mourning on Purim nor on any festival (except Chanuka).
-
Wake
Wake and wash hands (Three-Times Method). -
Bathroom
Take care of any toilet needs, wash your hands (One-Time Method).
Say blessings al netilat yadayim and asher yatzar (until l'fgarim meitim). - Torah Blessings
kulam).
-
Talit Katan
Put on talit katan (for men).
Say blessing if not married or if not putting on talit gadol later.Note You may put on the talit katan before washing your hands
- Birchot HaShachar
synagogue.
- Talit/Tefilin
- Talit (for married men or other men with that custom).
- Tefilin (for men).
- L'olam Yihei Adam/Korbanot
- L'olam yihei adam,
- Short shema,
- Paragraph ending mekadeish et shimcha ba'rabim,
- Readings on sacrifices/korbanot,
- 13 rules.
- Psukei D'Zimra
- Psalm 30/Mizmor Shir Chanukat habayit.
- Baruch she'amar through yishtabach (includes ashrei).
- Bar'chu/Shema/Amida
one after), tachanun (when appropriate) and ashrei through to alenu.
- Psalms/Alenu
- Neitz, HaNeitz—Sunrise
- Alot HaShachar—72 minutes before sunrise
- MiSheyakir-- 36 minutes before sunrise in New York in winter and 40 minutes in summer. Nearer to the equator, the maximum time is shorter.
When Things Happen
Before Alot HaShachar (72 minutes before sunrise)
You can put on tzitzit/talit and tefilin without blessings.
Alot HaShachar
You can say:
- Birchot ha'shachar.
- Shema and amida, b'di'avad.
You can say:
- Blessings over tefilin and tzitzit/talit.
- Shema and amida as necessary.
You can say shema l'chatchila--and begin saying the amida exactly at sunrise.
By Third Halachic Hour of the Day
You have until the third halachic hour of the day to say:
- The blessing mekadeish et shimcha ba'rabim if you want to include the word Adonai.
- Morning shema.
You have until the fourth halachic hour of the day to say any of the prayers from barchu until the end of the amida.
Halachic Mid-Day
You have until halachic mid-day, b'di'avad, to say the shacharit amida.