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Introduction to Shalom Bayit
Shalom bayit is a family at peace, as one unit. When leniencies in law are used to avoid intrafamily conflicts, customs and d'rabanan halachot can sometimes be overridden. But d'oraita halachot may not be violated. Consult a rabbi.
Situation
You want to go to minyan but your wife is overwhelmed with trying to feed several children and she asks you to help.
What To Do
You must miss minyan and help her since your wife's needs take precedence over your wish to pray with a minyan.
Note With shalom bayit problems between spouses, a rabbi should be consulted for details.
Note Once someone is married, his or her in-laws are part of his or her family and are included in shalom bayit rules.


 



On How Much Food To Say Fore-Blessing (Bracha Rishona)
Always say one of the six fore-blessings (bracha rishona) before eating, as long as you expect to get enjoyment or benefit from whatever you ate, even when eating:
  • Less than a minimal quantity (minimal shiur), or
  • Eating a small (kolshehu) amount of food.
Examples
  • Say a fore-blessing before you taste food you are cooking.
  • Say a fore-blessing before you taste a tiny amount of honeysuckle nectar.
Exception Do not say a fore-blessing on water that you drink with medicine.
Jewish Festivals: Opening Refrigerator Door with LEDs
As on Shabbat, do not open a refrigerator door that has LEDs that illuminate when the door is opened on Jewish festivals.
Mourning: How Long To Mourn: Parents or Others
Mourning for parents lasts one year. Mourning for others lasts only 30 days.
How to Prepare Food in a Non-Kosher Kitchen

BAKING IN NON-KOSHER OVEN

An oven that has not been used for at least 24 hours is considered, d'oraita, to be neutral/pareve, but only if it is clean. D'rabanan, it is still not kosher, but this may be useful for when you can be lenient; e.g., if there is a safek.

Note Even when baking in a non-kosher oven, you must cook the food in a kosher utensil.

INTRODUCTION TO BAKING IN NON-KOSHER OVEN

Baking in a Non-Kosher Oven

How To Tell if Oven Is Clean

To determine whether a non-kosher oven with black or brown spots is clean, scratch them:

  • If the substance crumbles, the spots are OK and you may bake non-liquid food in that oven without covering the food.
  • If the spots do not crumble or they remain immovable or come off in flakes rather than crumbles, consider the oven not clean.

Uncovered Food; Clean (Non-Kosher) Oven

You may cook food uncovered in a non-kosher oven if:
  • The oven rack and walls are clean, and
  • The food is not “liquid.”
    Note Non-liquid is defined as not being liquid before cooking OR not being liquid after cooking, but the food does not need to be non-liquid at both times.  Examples of “non-liquid” foods:
    • Apple cobbler
    • Lasagna
    • Meat (that will create gravy at the end)
    • Pudding
    • Raw fish.
Situation You plan to bake uncovered food in a clean, non-kosher oven in which the racks are not clean.
What To DoPlace two layers of foil under the baking utensil.

Double Wrapping

When To Double Wrap

Double-wrap food before baking in a non-kosher radiant-heat oven if:
  • The rack and/or oven are not clean;
  • The food that you are baking is liquid at any time during the cooking process; OR
  • Some of the food you are baking spills onto the rack or oven surfaces.

How To Double Wrap

When wrapping food for cooking in a non-kosher oven, the wrapping material does not need to seal completely, but the:

  • Food must be completely covered with two layers of foil or plastic;
  • Layers must keep water vapor out from between the layers; and
  • Surfaces of the utensil must all be covered.

SPILLED KOSHER FOOD IN NON-KOSHER OVEN

Kosher Food Spilling in Non-Kosher Oven

If kosher food spills inside a non-kosher oven in which you are cooking uncovered kosher food (whether liquid or non-liquid), consult a rabbi about whether the uncovered kosher food may still be eaten.

NoteIn this case, it makes no difference whether the oven is clean or dirty because the spilled food is wet and takes on the non-kosher status of the oven. When the spilled food vaporizes, it carries the non-kosher essence to the kosher food or utensil.
NoteIf the non-kosher oven had not been used for more than 24 hours, the food is probably still kosher b'di'avad. 
NoteThis applies to food spilled either from the same utensil in which you were cooking the kosher food or from a different utensil.

FROZEN FOOD IN NON-KOSHER OVEN

Double Wrap Frozen Food in Non-Kosher Oven

Frozen food is considered to be wet food regarding cooking it in a non-kosher oven or regarding its being neutral for dairy and meat issues: If the oven is not kosher, the frozen food must be double wrapped, even if the oven is clean.

AIRLINE MEALS IN NON-KOSHER OVEN

Heating Airline Meals in Non-Kosher Oven

Airline meals are usually non-liquid, so even if they are single-wrapped, it is OK to heat them in a non-kosher oven as long as no non-kosher food contacts the kosher food container.

COOKING IN NON-KOSHER MICROWAVE OVEN

Microwave Oven: Kosher Status

Introduction to Microwave Oven: Kosher Status

If a microwave oven's walls/floor/door do not become hot (more than 120° F, or 49° C), the microwave oven does not become non-kosher, dairy, meat, or non-Passover/chametz.

NoteA microwave oven that does not normally get hot, may get hotter than 120° F if you cook:

  • A liquid or moist food for a long time (even if less than 10 minutes),
  • Several liquid or moist items sequentially, or
  • Popcorn and similar foods.

If a microwave oven's walls/floor/door get hot, the oven can become dairy, meat, or non-kosher (if they become one gender and then the opposite gender is cooked or if non-kosher food has been cooked in it). If any surface--including walls, door, floor, etc.--that gets hot are plastic or coated metal, it cannot be returned to kosher or pareve. However, if the surfaces are all made of metal, they may be kasherable. Consult a rabbi.

NoteIf the microwave oven does get hot, it cannot be kashered at all--not for Passover and not from non-kosher to kosher. To check if your microwave oven gets hot, see How To Check If a Microwave Oven Will Get Hot during Cooking

Microwave Oven: Kosher Status: Walls and Door

Since microwave oven walls and doors do not normally get hot (more than 120° F, or 49° C), there is usually no need to kasher them from milk to meat (or back to milk); from ordinary use to Passover use; or from non-kosher to kosher. Just clean all surfaces.

Microwave Oven: Kosher Status: Floor

Microwave oven floors can get hot, especially where there is no rotating glass tray and the utensil is placed directly on the oven floor. All microwave ovens should be assumed to get hot unless you have tested them personally.

Microwave Floor

Cover the floor (ideally with styrofoam or another substance that blocks heat and moisture) in a non-kosher microwave oven.

Glass Tray

The glass tray does not become non-kosher and does not become dairy or meat or chametz (unless it was removed and used in a conventional oven) as long as it is clean.

Plastic Tray Support

The plastic support under the glass tray must be cleaned and must be blocked from contact with actual cooking utensils and from food if the tray:

  • Has any food of the gender opposite that of the food being cooked,
  • Has non-kosher food on it, or
  • Is dirty and you cannot tell with what.

How To Check If a Microwave Oven Will Get Hot during Cooking

To determine if the walls of a microwave oven will get hot during cooking:

  • Boil water for as long as food would typically be cooked in that microwave oven, and
  • Touch the inside walls, floor, door, and ceiling
    • If the walls are too hot to touch, the walls may acquire the gender of any food cooked in the oven. (If the walls are already the opposite gender when cooking a food, the oven may become non-kosher.)
    • If the walls are not too hot to touch, then no change of status occurs.

Non-Kosher Microwave Oven: Hot Oven, Liquid or Solid Food

If the walls of a non-kosher microwave oven get hotter than 120° F, you must double wrap any liquid or solid food you cook in that oven.

NoteIf you did not double wrap liquid or solid food cooked in a non-kosher microwave oven, consult a rabbi about whether you may eat the food.

Non-Kosher Microwave Oven: Non-Hot Oven

If the walls of a non-kosher microwave oven stay less than 120° F, you do not need to wrap or cover liquid or non-liquid food, as long as:

  1. The microwave oven is clean and dry, and
  2. If the tray is non-glass or non-Pyrex, you put a layer of separation (plastic, styrofoam, etc…) that blocks heat and any moisture underneath the cooking utensil.

COOKING ON NON-KOSHER STOVE

Setting Down Hot Lid on Non-Kosher Stove Top

SituationYou set down a hot pot lid on a non-kosher stove top.
Status

  • Lid is dry and stove is clean: lid remains kosher.
  • Lid is dry or wet and stove is dirty: lid is non-kosher.
  • Lid is wet and stove had hot non-kosher mixtures on it within the previous 24 hours--even if the stove is clean: lid is not kosher.
  • Lid is dry or wet and stove is clean and did not have hot non-kosher mixtures on it within the previous 24 hours: lid is kosher.

COOKING WITH NON-KOSHER UTENSILS

Using a Non-Kosher Kitchen Utensil
Introduction to Using a Non-Kosher Cooking Utensil
You may not use a non-kosher cooking utensil (pot, pan, baking dish, etc.) for cooking even if the utensil is clean and has not been used for more than 24 hours (unless you kasher it first).

Fruit Cut with Non-Kosher Knife
You should wash most fresh fruit cut with a non-kosher knife in order to remove whatever non-kosher food might have been on the knife from before.
Note Fruit with a sharp taste—such as lemons or tart apples—may not be used if cut with a non-kosher knife, regardless of whether the knife had been used within 24 hours.

WASHING IN NON-KOSHER SINK

Using a Non-Kosher Sink
A dish is still kosher b'di'avad if heated to 120° F (49° C) or more in a clean, non-kosher sink that had remained below 120° F for the previous 24 hours.
 

Sheva Brachot: Over Which Cups To Bless
  • Birkat ha'mazon is made on one cup of wine at sheva brachot.
  • The first six sheva brachot blessings are made on the second cup.
  • Borei pri ha'gafen is made on the first cup.
Tum'a and From What To Pour
When washing your hands using the One-Time Method, in all cases except when washing for bread, here is what to use:
  • Best: Cup that holds at least a revi'it of water.
  • Next Best: Wash hands from a spigot within 12” of the ground, turning the spigot off and on between hands.
  • Third Choice: If the spigot is more than 12” above the ground, simply hold your hands under a regular faucet in the flow of water so that your hands get wet all over.  No need to turn the water on and off.
    Note This is a b'di'avad case. 
  • Fourth Choice: If there is no water, say whatever blessings you need to say anyway (for example, asher yatzar) rather than not saying the blessing at all. You will still have the tum'a on your hands (but you should rub your hands on cloth of clothing first).
Note This does NOT apply to washing before eating bread or to any cases where you must wash using the Three-Times Method. Removing tum'a in these cases requires a cup.
Note If you need to wash your hands after using the toilet, there is no need to go 18 minutes to find the water, (unlike the requirement for washing for bread).
Friday Night: Cut Lower Challa
On Friday night, hold the two challot together, one on top of the other, but cut the lower one (for kabbalistic reasons).
Breaking Apart Challot Baked Together
If you bake several units of dough in one pan and they expand into each other, you may not break them apart after baking and use them as separate challot. If they only slightly touch each other, you may separate them and use them as individual challot.
 
Kashrut: Dairy/Meat: Drawers
Situation You find an eating or cooking utensil of one gender in a drawer of the opposite gender.
Status You may use the item without kashering it.
Kashrut: Dairy/Meat: Cutting Boards
Situation You cut a spicy/charif item of one gender on a cutting board (whether wood or plastic), and then cut the opposite-gender spicy/charif food on that same cutting board.
Status Generally, the board and the knife and whichever food was cut second becomes non-kosher. Consult a rabbi for exceptions.
What To Do If you can sand off the surface to below the level of any knife cuts, the board might be kosher. Consult a rabbi.
Blessing the Children: How To Bless: How To Place Hands
You may use one or two hands when giving a blessing, such as when blessing children on Shabbat or Jewish festivals. You may hold your hands over the person's head or actually put your hands on their head--either is OK.
Sukka: Dimensions: Minimum/Maximum
  • A sukka must have at least three walls, but one of those walls may be as little as 1 tefach wide.
  • A round sukka must extend to at least 270 degrees.
  • Sukka height: More than 10 tefachim (40” or 1 m) high and less than 20 amot (33'4” or 10 m) tall.
  • Minimum sukka width: 7 tefachim x 7 tefachim (28” x 28” or 71.1 cm x 71.1 cm). 
  • Maximum wall-to-ground gap for sukka: walls must be within 3 tefachim, or 10 ½” (27 cm) of the ground.
  • Maximum permissible angle (slope) of a roof on a sukka is less than 45 degrees from horizontal.
  • Schach: Must cover the sukka so that there is more shade than sun when the sun is directly overhead and must have at least enough space between the schach elements for rain to penetrate.
SheHecheyanu: New Fruits: Import/Export
Situation
A fruit is available year-round in one place.
That fruit is taken to a place where it is not available.
What To Do
You may say she'hecheyanu on the fruit in that second place.
 
SheHakol: Which Foods: Unrecognizable Foods
You must be able to recognize, from at least one piece, that an ingredient is from the ground or from a tree in order to say borei pri ha'adama or borei pri ha'eitz. If not, say she'hakol.
So say she'hakol on:
  • All foods that did not grow in the ground or on a tree, but also
  • Foods that you cannot personally identify as having grown in the ground or on a tree—either because it has been finely ground or processed or because you personally do not know what it is.
Example Even if you know that a kugel is made with potatoes, unless you can see recognizable pieces of potato, do not say borei pri ha'adama, but rather she'hakol.
 
Examples (Foods that Get SheHakol)
  • Apple Sauce.
  • Beer, Cognac, Grape Brandy, and other alcoholic beverages other than wine and grape juice and their derivatives.
  • Cheese and other Dairy Products (unless they contain grain).
  • Eggs (plain).
  • Fish.
  • Fruits or vegetables whose identity is not recognizable.
  • Honey.
  • Ice Cream.
  • Juice.
  • Meat.
  • Mushrooms.
  • Poultry.
  • Seaweed.
  • Soda.
  • Soup (clear).
  • Sprouts.
  • Water.