Halacha ("The Way To Go" or "Way to Walk") guides proper Jewish behavior in all aspects of life, each day of our lives--not just in civil laws or court situations. Halacha teaches us how to behave with our families, relatives, and strangers as well as how to fulfill our religious requirements between ourselves and God.
To fulfill our role as a holy people, we imitate God's actions. Examples are visiting the sick, welcoming guests, giving charity, refraining from creative activity on Shabbat, and promoting peace between husband and wife (shalom bayit).
The true reason for following halacha is because God commanded us to do so. We observe halacha to please our Creator and to become spiritually close to Him by doing His will and imitating His actions.
Like the word for the whole body of Jewish "laws," each rule of how to act is called a halacha (plural, halachot).
Where Do Halachot Come From?
Although you will find halachot on this site that were born only a few days or a few decades ago, the body of halacha has been around since before creation. "God looked into the Torah and created the world," says the Zohar, and so we find the Patriarchs followed halacha even before that great law book, the Torah, was given on Mount Sinai four centuries later.
Many halachot are specified in the Written Torah (Jewish Bible). These halachot correspond to fuller and more detailed halachot given orally (Oral Torah) to Moses on Mount Sinai to explain the Written Torah that he received at the same time. Many halachot could not be understood from the Written Torah without the Oral Law (for example, what should be written on a mezuza scroll?) and many common practices such as making kiddush or what tefilin should look like are to be found nowhere in the Written Torah.
Since the Torah applies to all generations, the Torah specifies that there be wise and learned people to decide how to apply halacha to the situations of the day. Halachot can be found in sourcebooks such as the Mishna, Gemara, their commentaries, Shulchan Aruch, Mishna Berura, and responsa (questions and answers originally sent by letter and now, occasionally, by email or SMS!) of later rabbis.
Sometimes a custom becomes a halacha, sometimes not. For example, the original halacha for tzitzit was that a Jewish man who wears a four-cornered garment must have tzitziyot on each corner. The custom, which has become universally accepted and now has the force of halacha, is that Jewish men wear a four-cornered garment in order to be able to fulfill the commandment of wearing tzitziyot. An example of a custom that did not become a halacha is that some men and boys wear their tzitziyot outside of their shirts and pants.
Levels of Halachot
In halacha, there are three levels of what to follow or observe. They are differentiated on this website by the following terms:- “Must”: Halachot that are generally non-negotiable except in extreme situations;
- “Should”: Customs that have been accepted by the entire Jewish world (or major segments of it) and that may be overridden when necessary, sometimes even if not extreme circumstances; and
- “Non-Binding Custom”: Customs that are not universally followed and that do not need to be followed except by people who have the tradition to do so.
- If a law exists but is not enforced, it is not considered by halacha to be a valid law.
- If a law states one condition but is enforced only in a different condition, the actual enforced law is the valid one.
Who Is a Mourner
A mourner is defined in halacha as someone mourning during the 12-month mourning period for parents or the 30-day mourning period for the other five relatives (spouse, brother, sister, son, daughter). After 30 days, one is no longer a mourner for anyone but one's parents.
Mourners' Restrictions
If the mourner goes about business as usual, it may show he or she doesn't care about the close relative who died. The mourner should ideally not want to do these things. The mourner honors the dead person by refraining from pampering him/herself and refraining from going about his or her life as usual.
Public Meals
A mourner may not attend a public meal for any purpose. For example, if the mourner attends a lecture or Torah class at which food is being served, he or she may not eat the food. This only applies to sit-down meals; snacking is permitted.
Siyum/Brit/Bar Mitzva
After 30 days after a parent's burial, a mourner may:
- Attend a siyum or bar mitzva and eat there.
- Attend a brit but not eat there.
Weddings
A mourner may not eat at a wedding and may not even be in the wedding hall after the ceremony took. The mourner may also not hear the music at a wedding.
Exceptions- If the mourner is the parent of someone getting married, the mourner can fully participate in the wedding.
- If the mourner is the bride or groom, he or she must normally wait to get married until after shloshim/30 days.
Kiddush and Shabbat or Festival Meals
A mourner may not publicly (noticeably) mourn on Shabbat or festivals so he or she may attend Shabbat or festival meals and kiddushes if he or she would be expected to attend. If the mourner always or routinely invites some person or a lot of different people on Shabbat or festivals, it is still permitted. If the mourner does not routinely invite some person or a lot of different people to a Shabbat or festival meal, then he or she may not, for his or her own enjoyment, invite guests for meals. However, the mourner is permitted to do so for other purposes (for the benefit of the invited person or people), such as kiruv or hachnasat orchim. There is no limit to how many guests the mourner may host.
The mourner may attend or host a sheva brachot in his/her home.
A mourner should not be invited to meals, even for Shabbat or festivals; but if he/she was invited, he/she may go.
Holidays
A mourner does eat at a Purim or Jewish festival seuda, since there is no mourning on Purim nor on any festival (except Chanuka).