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Mezuman/Minyan at pre-Yom Kippur Meal (Se'uda HaMafseket)
A mezuman or minyan is permitted at the pre-Yom Kippur meal (se'uda ha'mafseket).
Reason It is a festive meal.
Women: Mezuman
For women's mezuman, see Birkat HaMazon: Women's Mezuman and Minyan.
Birkat HaMazon: Women's Mezuman and Minyan
Women (even if 10 or more) do not make a minyan, only a mezuman.  So do not say the birkat ha'mazon's minyan introduction but simply say the mezuman introduction if:
  • 10 or more women ate together, without men present;
  • At least two women washed, said ha'motzi, and ate bread; AND
  • At least one more woman ate some type of food.
Note Women are never required to make a mezuman. So when three women are eating together and no men are present, they may say birkat ha'mazon as a mezuman but they are not required to do so.
Birkat HaMazon: Eating for Mezuman
Say birkat ha'mazon as a mezuman if:
  • You don't have enough men for a minyan (see above), AND
  • Two men wash, said ha'motzi, and ate bread, AND
  • One or more other men ate any food other than water and salt.
Note If the three men's eating overlapped in time with each other, they MAY say birkat ha'mazon with a mezuman. 
If the three men began eating at the same time, they MUST say birkat ha'mazon with a mezuman.
Birkat HaMazon: Reason for Mezuman
Saying birkat ha'mazon with a mezuman (or a minyan) is important since it gives honor to God.
 
Birkat HaMazon: How To Join Mezuman and Continue Eating
To join a mezuman and continue eating:
1)  Reply to “rabotai nevareich,” etc.,
2)  Say amen after the leader says the first paragraph's final blessing, and then
3)  Finish eating and say birkat ha'mazon on your own.
 
Birkat HaMazon: Until When To Join Mezuman
You may join a mezuman by eating any food (except water and salt) up until the leader says “rabotai nevareich.” 
 
Birkat HaMazon: Seating for Minyan or Mezuman
You may join with other men to make a minyan or mezuman (a mezuman is any group of 3 or more Jewish men 13 years old or older and so a minyan is also a kind of mezuman) for birkat ha'mazon if, while you are eating:
  • You can see any other tables at which the other men are eating, or
  • You had the same waiter as the other men, even if you could not see the rest of the group (such as in an L-shaped room). 
 
Tish'a B'Av: Pre-Fast Meal
You may say birkat ha'mazon with a mezuman or with a minyan during the Nine Days.  But you may not do so at the meal preceding Tish'a b'Av (se'uda ha'mafseket).
Reason Only bread dipped in ashes and a hard-boiled egg should be eaten and that is not a meal for socializing or togetherness.