The synagogue (shul) prayer service may confuse the unfamiliar. Here is a brief guide to following the congregational prayers.
 
Ends/Beginnings of Paragraphs
Each individual says most of the prayers, but the leader sets the pace. He says out loud the last line or two of many paragraphs (and sometimes the next paragraph's first few words), to help others find where he is in the prayers.
Hint If you get lost, listen to the leader and try to find those words at the beginning or end of one of the paragraphs near where you think you should be!
 
Saying Amen
When the prayer leader/chazan says a blessing (Baruch ata adonai...) and finishes the final word, everyone usually replies amen.
 
Baruch Hu U'Varuch Shemo
It is common (but not required) to say baruch hu u'varuch shemo after hearing God's name (Adonai) when it is said in a blessing.
This list mainly includes the parts of the prayer service that are said together or when in synagogue, not those said individually or at home.
NoteIf you need to use the toilet between baruch she'amar and yishtabach, say asher yatzar after saying yishtabach and before saying yotzeir or.
 
The initial blessings beginning with asher natan... through the end of ven brit may be said at home.
 
Ma Tovu
Upon arriving in synagogue in the morning, say Ma tovu....
 
Talit
Married men (and also those with a tradition to wear a talit from bar mitzva age) normally put on their talit gadol on all days (except Tish'a b'Av morning).
For more details, see Talit (Gadol).
 
Tefilin
On weekdays, all men put on tefilin. They do not interrupt putting on tefilin to respond to other's prayers, not even to say amen. 
For more details, see Tefilin.
 
Birchot HaShachar/Initial Blessings
If you have not yet said the initial blessings beginning with asher natan... through the end of ven brit, say them once you are in synagogue and after you have put on talit/tefilin (if relevant).  
Everyone stands while the prayer leader reads the initial blessings aloud.  They say amen after each one. 
 
L'Olam Yehei Adam/Shema
L'olam yehei adam is said quietly, with everyone saying the shema line together.
 
Order of the Sacrifices
Some read (quietly) the order of the sacrifices.
 
13 Principles of Talmud Explanation/Kaddish

• The 13 principles of how the Talmud is explained are read quietly.
• Kaddish is said by any mourners.
• Everyone says, amen, yihei shmei raba...

 
Mizmor Shir/Kaddish

• Mizmor shir is read quietly.
• Another kaddish is said by the mourners.

Baruch SheAmar
            Baruch she'amar is said by everyone, standing.  The leader says the final blessing out loud.
 
Verses (Psukim)
The following several pages are verses (psukim) from various sources, said by everyone quietly.
Mizmor L'Toda/Yehi Chevod

• Everyone stands to say mizmor l'toda quietly (just for this paragraph).
• The next paragraph (yehi chevod) is read quietly.

 
Ashrei and 5 Psalms
Ashrei and the following five psalms (#146 to 150) are said quietly by everyone; the leader says the final line or two out loud.
 
Baruch Adonai L'Olam Amen v'Amen
Baruch adonai... is said by the leader.  
 
VaYevarech David
The next section (from va'yevarech David until after bar'chu) is said quietly by everyone while standing.
 
Shirat HaYam
Shirat ha'yam is read quietly by everyone.
 
Yishtabach/Kaddish
Yishtabach is said quietly by everyone together. The leader says the final line of yishtabach out loud and then kaddish.
 
Bar'chu

• The leader says Bar'chu et Adonai ha'mevorach.
• Everyone bows from the waist and replies (aloud), Baruch Adonai ha'mevorach l'olam va'ed (which is then repeated by the leader).
• Everyone says the blessing's ending ...u'vorei et ha'kol.

 
Shema and Its Blessings
The next paragraphs lead up to the shema:

• Leader says, “Et shem ha'el...”
• Everyone says aloud, together: Kadosh, kadosh, kadosh... and Baruch kevod Adonai mi'mkomo.
• Leader says the final line or two of La'el baruch ne'imot... and everyone responds amen.
• Everyone says ahavat olam quietly.
• Leader reads the final lines aloud.
  Note It is the custom to not say amen to the blessing before shema.
• Everyone says the first line of the shema together and aloud, but Baruch shem... silently. 
• Everyone reads the shema individually, and the leader repeats out loud Adonai eloheichem emet.
• Everyone reads the next paragraphs, through ezrat avoteinu, together, quietly.

 
Mi Chamocha
Stand for Mi chamocha until after the amida.

Adonai Yimloch
Everyone reads together and aloud: Adonai yimloch... until the final blessing before the amida.
Note At some time before completing that blessing, step back far enough (one large step is fine) so that you can take three small steps forward to begin the amida. If there is no room to step back, you may pray the amida without stepping forward.
 
The Amida
Amida: Details and Direction
For more details on saying the amida, see What To Pray: Set Prayers: Amida
For where to face during the amida, see Amida: Location: Where To Face
 
Stepping To Begin the Amida
After saying ga'al Yisrael, symbolically approach God by taking three steps forward (any size of steps is fine):

• Step forward with your right foot,
• Step forward with your left foot, and
• Step forward with your right foot.
• Bring your left foot to meet the right one, so that both feet are touching at the heels and at the balls (so that you are standing as if you had one leg, like the angels!)

Bowing in the Amida
Next, with your feet still together, do knee-bowing at the start and end of the first paragraph.  You will also be bowing at:

• Beginning of modim (waist-bowing).
• End of modim (knee-bowing at Baruch ata Adonai of the blessing ending u'lecha na'eh l'hodot).

           
Slach Lanu
In slach lanu, when saying ki chatanu and ki fashanu, hit your chest over your heart with your fist.
Reason We are saying that we sinned, so we strike our heart for leading us astray.
 
Ending the Amida
Symbolically take leave of God by taking three steps back after Adonai tzuri v'go'ali:

• Step back on your left foot,
• Step back on your right foot,
• Step back on your left foot (and then place your right foot next to your left foot).
• Bow to the left while saying Oseh shalom bi'mromav...,
• Bow to the right while saying Hu ya'aseh shalom alenu, and
• Bow to the middle (straight in front of you) while saying Ve'al kol yisrael v'imru amen.

Then pause for at least three seconds before walking forward or sitting down.
 
Reader's Repetition of Amida
At kedusha, everyone stands (even if they were sitting so far for the amida's repetition) with their feet together, again imitating the angels who only have one leg.

• The leader says nekadeish (in some places, everyone says nekadeish).
• Everyone says the next line together (kadosh, kadosh, kadosh...).

• After the leader says Halleluya, everyone else may move their feet (or sit down, if that is their custom).
• On fast days, the leader says an extra paragraph in shacharit (other paragraphs in mincha are said by everyone).

Tachanun

When To Say Tachanun
Tachanun is usually said on weekdays.

How To Say Tachanun
Tachanun is said differently, depending on if there is a Torah scroll in the room, as follows:

• Say Va'yomer David sitting down, while resting your head on your left arm (unless you are wearing tefilin on your left arm, in which case lean onto your right arm). 

• When you reach shomer Yisrael, lift your head up and sit normally while saying the paragraphs until v'anachnu lo neida ma na'aseh.
• Before saying “na'aseh,” stand up for the remainder of tachanun.

• Say tachanun standing until Va'yomer David... at which time, everyone sits down.
• Follow the directions above for the remainder of tachanun.

 

Hallel

• When hallel is said, most of the psalms are said quietly by everyone.  (In some synagogues, several of the psalms are sung in unison.)
• The lines beginning Hodu l'adonai... are read aloud by the leader.
• Everyone else responds aloud, Hodu l'adonai... and reads quietly the next line (which the leader then reads aloud when they finish).
• Similarly, Ana adonai is read responsively by the leader, followed by everyone else.

 
Kaddish
The leader says kaddish out loud.
 
Torah Reading (Mondays and Thursdays)

• Everyone reads quietly the phrases va'yehi be'nso'a... and brich shmei.
• The Torah is taken out and carried to the bima.
• As each man (called an oleh) is called up to the Torah:
  • The oleh says Bar'chu...
  • Everyone responds Baruch Adonai....,
  • The oleh repeats that line and says a blessing.
  • Everyone answers amen.
• After each reading, the oleh says one more blessing and everyone replies amen.
• After the third aliya, the Torah is lifted up.
• Everyone says, V'zot haTorah....
• The Torah is rolled and wrapped.
• Meanwhile, the leader reads four paragraphs beginning, Yehi ratzon mi'lifnei avinu...
• The final paragraph, Acheinu kol bet yisrael... is read by everyone aloud.
• The Torah is put back while everyone reads two psalms quietly.

 
Ashrei/U'va L'Tzion

• Everyone reads ashrei quietly, followed by la'menatzeiach and u'va l'tziyon.
• Everyone together says, Kadosh, kadosh, kadosh and Baruch kevod.

 
Kaddish
The leader says kaddish.
 
Alenu
Everyone says alenu together.
 
Kaddish
Mourners say kaddish.
 
Psalm for the Day
Psalm for that day is read by everyone.
 
Kaddish
One more kaddish is said by the mourners.
 
L'David

• During Elul and into Tishrei, L'David is read by everyone.
• One more kaddish is said by the mourners.

 
Praying Ma'ariv
 
V'hu Rachum
Everyone reads the two introductory lines of v'hu rachum.
 
Bar'chu

• Leader says bar'chu.
• Everyone else responds, baruch Adonai....
• The leader repeats that line.
• Everyone reads the next paragraph/blessing.
• The leader says that final line out loud.
• Everyone responds amen.

Note Don't say baruch hu u'varuch shemo at all during ma'ariv.
 
Shema and Its Blessings

• The leader repeats the final two words of the shema and the word emet.
• Everyone continues quietly saying the phrases until Mi chamocha.
• Mi chamocha is said by everyone together including by the leader, who then also reads the next line.
• Everyone says Adonai yimloch... together, continuing through the end of the next blessing, which is repeated by the leader.
• Everyone says hashkiveinu quietly.
• The leader says the blessing shomer amo Yisrael la'ad out loud.
• Baruch Adonai l'olam... is said through to the end by everyone quietly.
• The leader says the final line and the final blessing out loud.

Note Baruch Adonai l'olam is not said in Eretz Yisrael.
 
Kaddish
The leader says kaddish.
 
Amida
Everyone says the amida silently and individually.
 
Kaddish
The leader says kaddish.
 
Alenu
Everyone says alenu together.
 
Kaddish
Kaddish is said by any mourners.

 

Lashon ha'ra is saying (or communicating in any way--even by rolling your eyes, winking, etc.) anything derogatory or negative about someone that can hurt him or her in any way--by causing embarrassment, loss of money, lowered esteem, bad reputation, etc. 
 
Lashon ha'ra in which you attribute the negative statement about the person to whom you are speaking to someone else is called rechilut (gossip). 
 
Lashon ha'ra that is false is called motzi shem ra. Saying something that is true is not lashon ha'ra if it is being said for a positive purpose (even though the same words would be lashon ha'ra if they were only intended to hurt another person and had no positive purpose).
 
Lashon ha'ra, including rechilut, is forbidden to be said about shomer Shabbat Jews except for a positive purpose; motzi shem ra is forbidden to say about anyone--Jewish or not, shomer Shabbat or not, whether for a positive purpose or not.
 
Speaking Lashon HaRa
 
When You May Say Lashon HaRa
Lashon ha'ra, including rechilut, even if truthful, is not permitted except for a constructive or positive purpose. (Motzi shem ra is never permitted.) Its purpose cannot be to hurt a person.  It is permitted and recommended to tell the facts about someone:

1. To protect others from being hurt (being cheated, molested, etc.), or
2.  For a positive purpose that cannot be achieved through any other means.

 
Lashon HaRa To Protect Others from Being Hurt
You may say truthful lashon ha'ra (including rechilut, if it is necessary to divulge the name of the person who told you):

• To prevent a bad person from telling children bad things or to keep children from learning bad behavior from the bad person;
• To avoid being implicated in what the bad person is doing;

• To prevent other Jews' suffering a loss by using a worker who did bad work for you.

• If a businessman cheats you or lies to you, you should warn other Jews about him (but only if you suspect they want to do business with him).
• If you know something bad about someone who a third person wants to date or marry, in many cases you are required to tell what you know (but this can be very complicated and dangerous and a rabbi should be consulted about what to do in many cases)!

 
When You May Add Facts to Correct Possible Lashon HaRa
If the reasons behind an action are not clear and someone may get the wrong/negative impression of someone in question, then you should tell the facts and tell the entire story. 
Example
Someone (A) insults another person (B) in public. Entire story is that B beat up A previously. Knowing the full story changes how people might view A.
Note If it is only your opinion, state that instead of declaring it as fact.
 
Lashon HaRa To Allow Gain
Saying lashon ha'ra for a positive purpose includes gain for yourself or for someone else; you may talk about others in cases such as these:

• Psychotherapy  You may say truthful lashon ha'ra or rechilut to a psychotherapist since you don't know what is important. Outside of therapy and with non-therapists, you may say anything that will bring about a positive result (and only if there is no other way to achieve that result).

   

• Upset  If you are upset by what a person did to you and it will help you to calm down by telling what was done to you (that is, you will gain by feeling better).

 
Note If you want to ask someone for information that could be lashon ha'ra, you should say why you are asking so the other person will understand that it is for a positive purpose and is therefore not lashon ha'ra.
 
 
Lashon HaRa and Specific Cases
 
Children, Shomer Shabbat Person, Groups
Even truthful lashon ha'ra, including rechilut, may not be said about a Jewish child or a shomer Shabbat person or group of people unless for a positive purpose that cannot be achieved any other way.

• A parent should not rebuke or criticize a child if it will embarrass the child in front of others.
• A child (whether young or adult) may not correct a parent who is saying lashon ha'ra, unless the parent would want to be reminded that the parent is saying lashon ha'ra. Even then, it must be done respectfully. 
• You may make statements about groups of people in general, even if negative, as long as the purpose is to protect other people from them. But what you say must be true.   

 
Lashon HaRa: Public Knowledge
You may mention information that is public knowledge. But your intent should not be to spread the word, but rather just to pass along interesting information.
Example
Saying, “Did you hear that the president of the synagogue just got convicted of...”
 
Lashon HaRa: Mass Media
You may read in the paper, see on TV, or hear on the radio an account of someone's bad behavior (since you cannot know whether it will affect you or be important for you to know until you read or hear the information, it may be OK; ask a rabbi). You may not accept it as being the complete truth, but you should be wary.
 
Lashon HaRa: Shomer Shabbat Public Figure
You may not tell or listen to lashon ha'ra about a public figure who is a shomer Shabbat Jew unless there is a purpose.
You may give your opinion about a shomer Shabbat politician as long as you state it as your opinion and as long as giving your opinion may help other people.
 
Lashon HaRa: Shomer Shabbat Organization
You may not say any of the three types of speaking ill about an organization, school, synagogue, etc., whose members or employees are shomer Shabbat--except for a positive purpose.
Examples
You may not say any of the three types of lashon ha'ra about a Jewish school's cost, bad teachers, etc., unless it may be relevant to future students (and even if it is relevant, you may still not say motzi shem ra).
You may not say, “I don't like that shul because there is lots of talking,” unless you think the person will appreciate knowing since he or she will not want to go to a shul with lots of talking.
 
Lashon HaRa: Asked for Opinion
If you are asked for your opinion, you may give it if it is relevant (has a useful purpose) to the person asking. Otherwise, no comment.
 
If you are asked your opinion about a Torah lecture or lecturer, you may give your opinion only AS your opinion, not as criticism.
 
Lashon HaRa: Told in Confidence
If you have been told something in confidence, even if you think it is best for the person who told you if you pass it along, you may still not re-tell anyone else. You may say, “I cannot speak about that” if you are asked. Consult a rabbi.
 
Lashon HaRa: Getting Back at Someone
If someone hurts you, you may get back at the person at the time of the action against you.  But afterward, it would be revenge and is forbidden.
Example
Someone tells you, “You are good for nothing.” You may say, “You are worse than I am,” if it makes you feel better.
 
Lashon HaRa: Bet Din Summons
If someone with whom you have a problem refuses a hazmana (summons) from a bet din, you may publicize a letter from the bet din saying the person refused the hazmana so that the recipient might agree to go to the bet din due to public embarrassment.
 
Lashon HaRa: Bet Din for Abuse
All matters between Jews should, ideally, initially go to bet din but only if the bet din is capable of resolving the problem. In cases of suspected child or spousal (or other) abuse, you may report it to the police if there is no bet din that is capable of dealing with the problem immediately: You are not required to wait while a bet din gets around to your case. The key is to expedite the case.
Note Some cities have special batei din for such matters.
Note Beware of governmental agencies that may take away children from their homes, even without evidence.
 
Listening to and Believing Lashon HaRa
Listening to and believing any category of lashon ha'ra is also forbidden. If you do hear something bad about someone else, do not believe that it is definitely true--but you may believe that it might be true. When you hear lashon ha'ra:

• You can try to change the subject, since pointing out that lashon ha'ra is being said may not stop it from being said.
• If you see a shomer Shabbat Jew doing something that seems to be forbidden, you should judge him/her favorably and assume that there is a good interpretation to what is being done.

Example
Situation
You see someone who is not shomer mitzvot get in a car on Shabbat.
What To Do
Make the logical assumption that he/she is going to drive (and not for a halachically permissible purpose).
Situation
You see a shomer Shabbat person get in a car on Shabbat.
What To Do
Assume there is a good, halachic reason for it. However, you may not ignore reality or make implausible or unlikely excuses for bad behavior.

You may fulfill your requirement of saying Psalm of the Day (shir shel yom) only during the daytime.

It is considered comforting to the parent's soul for children to visit the cemetery.  So proximity to children may be a factor in choosing where to be buried (but who knows where offspring will end up living?).

If you inadvertently put the arm tefila (tefila shel yad) into the box for the tefila shel rosh, take it out and put it into its proper box.

Even though saying kaddish many times benefits the dead person's soul, there is no need--nor is it the custom--to attend multiple minyans each day in order to say kaddish for a dead person many times.

The box for holding the head tefila (tefila shel rosh) has a higher level of holiness than does the box for holding the arm tefila (tefila shel yad). You may not intentionally switch the boxes.

Put tefilin into its bag so that the knot on the arm tefila (tefila shel yad”) faces away from the head tefila (tefila shel rosh).

Choose the greatest Jewish scholar (talmid chacham) in your town or city as sandak (person who holds the baby for the brit mila), since kabbala says it is a good omen for the boy's soul. A woman may be a sandeket but only if no suitable man is available.  If no Jewish man or woman is available, a non-Jewish person may serve as a sandak or sandeket.

Here is the order for blessing over the Shabbat candles by women:

• Light the candles,
• Put your hands in front of your eyes (this a universal custom), and
• Say the blessing lehadlik ner shel Shabbat.

If you wish, you may say mourner's kaddish for family members other than parents, especially during shloshim (the first 30 days after burial), since the first 30 days after death are the most difficult for the dead person's soul. 
However, you may say kaddish for anyone even after shloshim ends, if you wish, until the end of 11 months (for a shomer-mitzvot person) or 12 months (for a non-shomer mitzvot person. But in a place where only one person says kaddish, you may not supplant another person who is halachically required to say kaddish.

Kos pagum means either:

1. "Physically damaged or broken drinking utensil”: You may not use such a cup for kiddush l'chatchila. OR

2. Cup of wine, grape juice, or any beverage that has been drunk from.  This beverage may not be used for a kos shel bracha until at least a small amount more of some beverage has been added.

Each dead person needs kaddish to be said for him or her:

• By at least one person.
  Note If more than one person who was close to the dead person (such as a relative) says kaddish, it is a merit for the soul of the dead person.
• At least once a day. 
  Note More frequently is commendable, since kaddish relieves a dead person's soul from gehenna.

Havdala is said after Shabbat, Jewish festivals, Rosh Hashana, and Yom Kippur.  Shabbat havdala is more extensive than after Yom Kippur and Jewish festivals. 

Shabbat havdala consists of:

1. Beverage: Wine, Grape Juice, or Chamar Medina
   Wine is always the preferred beverage for all havdalas because it is prestigious.
2. Spices
   The extra soul we are given on Shabbat leaves after Shabbat is over, so we sniff a pleasant odor to cover for that loss.
3. Flame  
   The Shabbat havdala flame commemorates that Adam HaRishon (the first man) created fire after the first Shabbat.