Search results for: ""Chuppa""

Wedding Customs: Chuppa
The chuppa should be under the open sky (via a skylight) or outdoors where practical.
Sheva Brachot: Who Drinks
  1. Under the chuppa, the groom and bride drink the wine.
  2. At the meals, the sheva brachot leader plus the bride and groom drink, and anyone else who wants to drink may do so.
Bridegroom's Kittel
A bridegroom is not required to wear a kittel under the chuppa, although many people have that custom.
Timing of Wedding Meal
If both people have been married before, l'chatchila the wedding (chuppa) may not start during the day and the meal at night. You must start the meal before sunset or else start the wedding after sunset.
Bride's Jewelry
A bride may wear other jewelry in addition her wedding ring under the chuppa. It is only a custom of some people not to do so.
Sheva Brachot: Order of Blessings

The order of blessings is the same every time sheva brachot are said--except under the chuppa, when the first blessing is borei pri ha'gafen.
Note At all other times, borei pri ha'gafen is the final blessing.

Note If the blessings are said out of order, it is OK.

Wedding Customs: Wedding Ring
It is not traditional for the bride to give a ring to the groom, and it is forbidden for the bride to give a ring to the groom at the chuppa.
Ketuba Process
The ketuba is written before the wedding but is not finished until just before the signing, when one or a few last words are filled in.  The ketuba is signed by two kosher witnesses after tanayim.  
Note The ketuba is read later, under the chuppa.
Introduction to Sheva Brachot
At the end of the wedding meal, the seven blessings (sheva brachot) are said in birkat ha'mazon.  The final blessing is on wine. This is the only required festive meal after the wedding. Any festive meal on the subsequent six days is optional but, when held, all the blessings are required.

 

Sheva Brachot: Celebration Period

If the bride and/or groom had never been married before, there are seven days of celebration (don't go to work, no tachanun). If both bride and groom were married before, there is one day of sheva brachot (in birkat ha'mazon) at the meal eaten after the chuppa, but three days of celebration (don't go to work, no tachanun).  

Note Neither husband nor wife should go to work; however, if the husband gives his wife permission, she may work.
Checking the Ring
The mesader kidushin then takes the ring and asks the groom "Is this your ring? If so, how did you acquire it?" It must have been acquired in accordance with Jewish law. He shows the ring to the witnesses and asks if it is worth at least a pruta. If they say yes, the groom takes the ring and says “Harei at mekudeshet li…” and places the ring on the bride's index finger of her primary hand.  The witnesses must hear the groom say “Harei at mekudeshet li...” and must see him place the ring on her hand. The wife should not take the ring off of her index finger until after they leave the chuppa. The couple is now married!
Introduction to Weddings and Marriage
The purpose of the rabbi at a wedding is to ensure that the extremely detailed wedding halachot, as set out by the Shulchan Aruch, are followed correctly. If not, the wedding might not be kosher.
 
A Jewish marriage includes: a written document (ketuba); a financial transaction (ring) in front of two kosher witnesses; and physical intimacy. 
 
Witnesses
 
  • The witnesses must be shomer Shabbat Jewish men.
  • The bride and groom should confirm verbally that these are the two (and the only two) witnesses that they want.  
 
Ring
  • The groom must confirm that he acquired and owns the ring.
  • The groom must say Harei at mekudeshet li ...  to the bride and place the ring on her (index) finger.
 
Ketuba
  • The ketuba must be kosher.
  • Before the chuppa, someone (anyone, including women) must fill in (no safrut is required for this):  the Hebrew names of the bride and groom; the date the wedding is taking place; the wedding location (city, etc.); and that a kinyan was made.
  • The ketuba must be signed by two kosher witnesses.
Hidur Mitzva/Mehadrin
Almost all mitzvot may be enhanced by:
  • Making them beautiful (hidur mitzva), or
  • Observing non-required stringencies (mehadrin).
Hidur Mitzva
Examples
  • Women baking challa for Shabbat and Jewish festivals (and separating challa as a remembrance of the challa that was given to the priests/cohanim in the Temple).
  • Wearing especially nice clothes and eating special foods on Shabbat and Jewish festivals.
  • Using beautiful fragrances, tastes, textures, colors, and artistry in serving God.
Beautiful
Examples
  • Shabbat/Jewish festival table (set with beautiful challa cover, silver, kiddush cups).
  • Havdala set and pleasant-smelling spices for havdala.
  • Sukka and putting your finest things in it.
  • Etrog/etrog case.
  • Shofar.
  • Seder plate, matza holder, and matza cover.
  • Illuminated hagadas (hagadot) and megilas (megilot).
  • Chanuka candle-holder (menora, chanukiya).
  • Torah scroll written with a fine pen and beautiful script and wrapped in beautiful silks.
  • Mezuza covers.
  • Ketuba.
  • Wimple (to wrap baby in prior to brit mila; then donated to hold the two parts of the Torah together).
  • Elijah's Chair/Kisei Eliyahu.
  • Synagogues.
  • Chuppa.
Mehadrin
Examples
  • Chalav Yisrael--When consuming milk and milk products, eating or drinking only those items whose production was supervised by religious Jews;
  • Pat Yisrael—When eating bread, only eating bread baked by Jews (not necessarily by religious Jews);
  • Glatt meat—When eating meat, eating only meat that had no lesions on the animal's lungs;
  • Lighting more than one Chanuka candle each night (beginning on the 2nd night) and having more than one person in each house light their own candles.
Introduction to Fast Days
Introduction to Fast Days
The purpose of Jewish fast days is to make us reflect on our behavior and improve it by:
  • Eliminating negative actions and thoughts, and
  • Taking more care in our observance of the commandments.
God told the Jewish people on many occasions that He did not want their pointless sacrifices or fast days but rather wanted the Jews to improve their behavior. If people fast but still have reprehensible behavior, the people have missed the point and purpose of bringing sacrifices and having fast days.
All fast days may be circumvented for health reasons. Consult a rabbi.
Fast days come in several varieties:
  • Major fast days: Yom Kippur and the Ninth of Av (Tish'a B'Av). 
  • Minor fast days: There are four minor fast days; see below.
  • Fast for First-Born
  • Individual Fasts

The Major Fasts
Yom Kippur and the Ninth of Av begin before sunset and are both slightly longer than 24 hours. Yom Kippur is a festive day while, on the Ninth of Av, Jews mourn for the destruction of both Jerusalem Temples (the first was destroyed by Babylonians; the second, by the Romans). On both fasts, it is forbidden to:
  • Eat or drink.
  • Wear leather shoes (but you may wear any other clothing made of leather).
  • Bathe (or even to wash anything more than fingers; you may not use a deodorant--not even a spray type--since it is similar to washing).
  • Have marital relations.
  • Use cosmetics or body scents.

The Minor Fasts
The four minor fasts begin 72 minutes before local sunrise. They technically end at dark but functionally end after ma'ariv (and for the Fast of Esther, after hearing the megila). Unlike most times in the Jewish calendar, this 72 minutes is normal time and NOT based on the current length of the day (sha'a zmanit):
  • Fast of Esther (Ta'anit Esther): Day preceding Purim (or sometimes earlier).
  • Fast of Gedalia (Tzom Gedalia): Usually the day after Rosh Hashana.
  • Tenth of Tevet (Asara b' Tevet):
  • Seventeenth of Tamuz (Shiv'asar b'Tamuz): Beginning of the Three Weeks of semi-mourning beforeTish'a b'Av.
On all fast days, eating and drinking are forbidden. The Tenth of Tevet and the Seventeenth of Tamuz additionally have the same restrictions as the Nine Days. So you may wash or bathe on the Fast of Esther and on Tzom Gedalia but not on the Tenth of Tevet and the Seventeenth of Tamuz. (See Nine Days: Restrictions).
Note On a fast day that has been delayed for Shabbat, there may be leniencies for:
  • The mohel, sandak, and father of a baby getting a brit mila to eat after mincha.
  • Pregnant or nursing women (this leniency applies to eating throughout the day).
Fast for First Born
Fast for first-born males 13 years old and older, on the day before Passover. This includes first-born cohanim and Levites (levi'im). The fast begins 72 normal minutes before sunrise and ends with kiddush at the seder. However, the widespread custom is to attend a siyum on the day before the first seder so that the first-born men do not need to fast on that day.
 
Personal Fasts
Fast by a groom and bride on their wedding day is an example of personal fasts. This fast begins 72 normal minutes before sunrise and ends with drinking wine under the chuppa.